Well, not copied per se; this is my original write-up of the Bjorn DitL, from which I cut-n-pasted to post on the Forum. As with the Zizzo DitL, all I've done is fix the occasional glaringly obvious mistake and translate the markup from phpBB to Wiki. [The hardest part of that last, BTW, was the smileys, as there is substantial non-overlap of smiley coverage between the two domains; if any or all of the smileys seem inappropriate for their context… well, that's why. We Apologize for the Confusion.™] -- ZizzoTheInfinite

Contents

The Excellent Adventures of Bjorn, the Beorning Warper

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Character sheet

The Excellent Adventures of Bjorn, the Beorning Warper

Okay, so maybe a Yeek Hermit Sorceror wasn't the best choice for my first DitL. Of my remaining characters, Bjorn is pretty hardy, and probably the best choice story-wise; my style pretty much requires a character with a distinctive personality, after all.

"And what exactly are you implying, lad? (zizz)"

Shoo, go ‘way, you're not in this one… Anyway, Bjorn definitely has a personality I can work with, and it's a sufficiently different strategy to be non-redundant with anyone else's DitL's, I think. Besides, I figured I'd better write him up sooner rather than later, before 2.2.7 comes out and obviates this entire character strategy. So, I temporarily "retired" my current Bjorn and started a fresh one for this story.

And so, without further ado, I give you Bjorn, the Beorning Warper, a fairly recent addition to my stable, inspired by this Ladder entry. Say hello to the nice people, Bjorn.

"Hey, dudes and dudettes. Check it out, I just scored this totally excellent new job."

Well, it's always good to see this kind of enthusiasm in a starting adventurer.

"Yeah, who knew you could get paid to go surfing… uh, what do you mean, like, 'adventurer'?"

Um, what do you mean, "surfing"?

"That's what it says on my character sheet, right under my name: 'Beorning Surfer'."

[slaps forehead] That's Warper, not "surfer".

"Huh?" [re-reads] "Dude, you're right. What's a Warper?"

It's a subclass of Mage that specializes in the Divination, Conveyance and Temporal schools.

"So, no surfing?"

‘Fraid not.

"Aw, man, that's bogus. Wait, adventurer? That means I'm supposed to go off that lame-o loser spaz Morgoth, right?"

Eventually, yes.

"Whoa, intense. Hmm, Mage, right? So do I get all those way cool, like, blow-stuff-up spells that Sorcerors get?"

Not really, no.

"Then, like, how am I supposed to fight stuff?"

We'll be using Bearform combat. That is why I went with a Beorning, after all.

"Uh, dude, have you seen me in bear form? Even the worms are like, 'Yo, right lane, slowpoke!'"

And that's why I went with the Warper class, to compensate for that.

"Don't see how; sounds like Warpers get all the lame spells… wait, you said Temporal, right?"

Mm-hmm.

"Isn't there a Temporal spell that, like, makes you go fast?"

Yes, the Essence of Speed spell.

"Hmm… bear form makes you go slow… but the spell makes you go fast…"

You can actually hear the gears grinding in his head, folks… $:\$

"…Yeah, we can totally make this work! Hey, ‘least Grampa Beorn can't call me a lazy brainless slacker any more, huh?"

Well, he certainly can't call you a lazy slacker…

"Isn't that what I said, dude?"

Ummm… yeah. Anyway, as before, here are the technical details: maximize and preserve modes on, and point-based stat allocation, netting stats 14/19/12/10/11/6; no non-main monsters, 49 quests, and worshipping Manwe for the eventual speed boost.

"Hey, this Manwe god dude, is he cool or, like, uptight?"

He's okay eventually, but you're going to have low piety early on.

"Ooh, sounds heinous."

Yeah, them's the proverbial breaks. Oh, here's my skill point allocation plan, as generated by my tome-skiller script (and as always, We Apologize for the Shameless Plug™ ):

 Based on generic Beorning Warper
  Used 245 of 245 points   [req. level 50]
    Combat                                          (0)   1.000 [0.200]
      Weaponmastery                                 (0)   0.700 [0.400]
      Bearform-combat                              (49)  50.000 [1.000]
    Sneakiness                                      (0)   1.000 [0.900]
    Magic                                           (0)  24.940 [0.900]
      Magic-Device                                  (0)   1.000 [1.050]
      Spell-power                                  (70)  50.000 [0.700]
      Mana                                          (0)   1.000 [0.700]
        Fire                                        (2)   1.600 [0.800]
        Water                                       (0)   0.000 [0.800]
        Air                                         (0)   0.000 [0.800]
        Earth                                       (0)   0.000 [0.800]
      Meta                                          (0)   0.000 [0.800]
      Conveyance                                   (25)  30.000 [1.200]
      Divination                                   (30)  36.000 [1.200]
      Temporal                                     (42)  50.000 [1.200]
      Mind                                          (2)   1.400 [0.700]
      Nature                                        (0)   0.000 [0.800]
      Necromancy                                    (0)   0.000 [0.700]
      Runecraft                                     (0)   0.000 [0.700]
      Thaumaturgy                                   (0)   0.000 [0.700]
    Spirituality                                    (0)   2.375 [0.550]
      Prayer                                       (25)  12.500 [0.500]
    Monster-lore                                    (0)   0.000 [0.500]

Basically, the plan is to max Bearform-combat, Temporal and Spell-power, push Conveyance high enough to get Recall and Divination high enough to get Greater Identify, pick up a couple low-level utility spells (most notably Charm to handle good monsters without getting my piety wrecked), and dump the rest into Prayer. For ranged attacks, my current plan is to use Manathrust and Noxious Cloud (from Manwe), as boosted by Spell-power—though I might go with Archery instead if I can get it from Mr. F. Fingers.

Since I got a favorable response to it last time, I'll be posting in small segments, a few levels at a time—even though with this character, I can do lots of levels in a sitting (in fact, I got as far as Orc 20 with this character over the weekend, in just two sittings). This also takes some pressure off me, since I can accumulate several segments worth of story in a sitting.

CHAPTER 1: Dude, Where's My Speed?

Part 1 of 3

My normal pre-Thieves-quest shopping involves a lantern and oil; this time, however, I invest all my money in 5!oCLW.

"Why?"

You'll see. And now, down the rabbit hole to:

Thieves Quest

You feel a vicious blow to your head.

[some time later]

"Ouch." [rubs head] "You could'a warned me about that part, dude."

Sorry.

"Okay, so how do I, like, cast this Essential Speed spell?"

Um, you don't, not yet. You need skill level 15 in Temporal first.

"What?! Uh, dude, you could'a warned me about that, too…"

I thought you knew.

"Oh, great. So now what?"

Well, for the first ten clvls, we'll have to make do with setting Explor to 'running'. We'll still be slower than normal speed, but it's the best we can do for now.

"Not excellent. So, like, where's my stuff?"

Down the hall, to the east.

"All right, let's do this, then."

My thoughts exactly. I pick up my stuff, and proceed to the door–

*BANG* "Halt, you evil-doers! Surrender now and return your ill-gotten spoils, or, like, I will transform into a powerful bear and smite you righteously and stuff!"

After a moment's stunned silence, the room erupts in laughter. "Hey, who let the genius out of his cell?"

"Doesn't matter." A Bandit emerges from one of the side rooms, licking the blade of his dagger and grinning evilly. "He's seen too much. Get rid of him."

"So be it, then. By the power of the sons of Beorn, I HAVE THE POWER!" [flashy transformation F/X] *ROAAAR!*

I'm sorry, folks; I think he actually believes he has to shout that to make the change.

"Hey, I'm not stupid, dude. I just figured I should, like, make a really dramatic entrance. You know, mess with their heads and stuff."

Riiiight… Actually, I exercised a bit of literary license there, since bear form doesn't actually become available until clvl 2—which I achieve in short order by killing the first two Novice rogues with my Dagger on berzerker/running. The next two are a few squares back, but I'm going to need a couple turns to set up, so I back up into the dark area before changing to bear form and putting all 5 skill points into Bearform-combat.

I have just enough time to switch my melee style to Bearform combat and start praying to Manwe (which I forgot earlier…) before the next Novice rogue gets next to me. He falls gratifyingly quickly, and the next one is a few squares behind him, so I take the opportunity to top off my hit points with a !oCLW before smacking him down. (That's why I bought the !oCLW's, BTW; at speed -1, I can't run away, so I have to heal on the run.)

In the main room, I use my last 5 mana pumping Manathrusts into the Bandit before he and another Novice rogue catch up to me. They die quickly, taking me to clvl 5 between them; I allocate the 15 skill points 3 to Bearform-combat, 2 to Fire (for Globe of Light), 2 to Mind (for Charm), 1 to Conveyance (which gets me Phase Door), and 7 to Divination (which gets me Identify).

The rest of the quest proceeds without incident, and I return to:

Bree

where I notice that I forgot to stop praying to Manwe, thus probably negating by now any benefit it might have had during the quest. $:\$ The Bandit's dagger turns out to be (+5,+4). I restock and proceed to:

Part 2 of 3

BDw 1

"What a boring place…" I'll say. I barely even had to change to bear form; the residual one Bearform combat hit in non-bear form was enough (together with the occasional Manathrust for Fruit bats and Floating eyes). Maybe we'll have better luck on:

BDw 2: Princess quest for 14 Novice mindcrafters

"You have a superb feeling about this level." $/!\$ That can't be just from the Novice mindcrafters, can it? Now I'm worried… Let's see, fourteen means the full-'X' form of the quest room, with the corner alcoves. I enter at the southeast corner of the level; Sense monsters shows nothing.

Nothing of note happens for a while. A Green worm mass pushes me over the top to clvl 6, and I allocate skill points 1 to Bearform-combat and 4 to Temporal.

I find the quest room on the southwest corner of the level. The Novice mindcrafters fall quickly; only one even manages to get a fear spell in before I smack him down. Between them, they push me to clvl 8; the 10 skill points go 2 to Bearform-combat, 6 to Temporal, and 2 to Conveyance (which gets me Disarm). The princess offers me a Lance, a Lance (from the Dept. of Redundancy Dept.), and Rhino Hide Armor. Hmm, the armor could be useful, but I need to be hoarding money to buy my first Essence of Speed spellbook. I go with the second Lance, which, according to one of my accumulated Scrolls of Identify, is… wait for it… a Lance of Westernesse (+4,+4) (+2). $/!\$ That'll certainly cover my shopping needs for a while. I finish off the level, just in case there's anything else superb on it (there isn't, that I can find), and then scurry back to:

Bree

Hmm, the Bree weapon store is capped at 10Kgp; a whirlwind inter-city tour finds 25Kgp caps at Gondolin and Lothlorien and another 10Kgp cap at Minas Anor. Back to Gondolin, then, to sell the Lance. I also buy a Spellbook of Charm from the magic shop before returning to Bree, where I buy a Wand of Dig and a Spellbook of Noxious Cloud (the latter stowed for future use). That taken care of, we return to:

BDw 2, take 2

"Looks like any other level…" $:\$ My piety is -634, and I'm only 8xp from the next level; and sure enough, a Blue jelly pushes me over the top to clvl 9, with skill points going 1 to Bearform-combat, 1 to Temporal, and 3 to Divination (attempting to get see invisible out of Sense Hidden, in anticipation of the first relic quest—which I just now realized I haven't gotten yet… $:\$ )

The rest of the level proceeds without incident; we continue to:

BDw 3

"This level can't be all bad…" This turns out to be a 3x1 small level (screens from [0,0] to [0,2]), and passes quickly and without event.

"Dude, this is boring."

Oh, I'm sure it'll be more exciting on:

BDw 4: Fumblefingers quest for 9 Novice warriors

Or maybe not… $:\$ "What a boring place…" I tend to agree. The level proceeds very boringly; at the end, Mr. F. Fingers offers me a choice of Magic, Archery, Symbiosis or Necromancy. Hmm, I know I said I wanted Archery, but I could really use some more mana… Magic it is, then. My inventory is full of stuff to be ID'd, so after finishing off the level without further incident, I return to:

Bree

Annoyingly, a Cutlass that I sold unidentified turned out to be enchanted.

"So why didn't you identify it, dude? I thought you said we could, like, cast the Identify spell now."

We could, if I could find a Spellbook of Identify for sale somewhere. Sounds like it's time for another shopping tour. Before heading out, though, I buy a Potion of Charisma from the Bree Black Market, just for giggles, which takes me from 6 CHR to 8.

The Gondolin Black Market has another Potion of Charisma, which takes me to 10 CHR. No spellbook of Identify, though. $:\$ Lothlorien has nothing useful; in Minas Anor I buy a Spellbook of Disarm and an Amulet of Slow Digestion. Back to Bree, hoping for a hail-mary pass… and it's a lateral one: no Spellbook of Identify, but the book store does have a Spellbook of Essence of Speed, which I'm going to be needing soon.

On that positive note, we restock and return to:

BDw 4, take 2

"What a boring place…" I've been getting a lot of these lately. I'm only 5xp from the next level, and sure enough, a Creeping copper coins pushes me over the top to clvl 10; I allocate skill points 1 to Bearform-combat, 1 to Temporal, 2 to Divination and 1 to Conveyance. My speed in bear form (plus running) drops to -3—but it'll only be for this level…

Nothing else of note happens on the level, other than a Giant white lice infestion near the southwest corner. $:\$ Oh, and I charm my first good monster (a Novice paladin)—which reminds me, my piety is down to -1598… Maybe we'll have better luck on:

BDw 5

"What a boring place…" Or maybe not. $:\$ At least it won't take long; the level is a 1x1 small level. Very quickly, then, we're off to:

BDw 6: Fumblefingers quest for 20 Baby white dragons

"What a boring place…" No, this time I disagree; this time, all the important monsters will be coming to me. The fourth dragon takes me to the all-important clvl 11—and to commemorate this seminal event, Manwe finally gives me the first relic quest, southeast of Bree and northeast of Minas Anor. The temple dungeon, then, will be dlvls 7 thru 11, and the monsters will be level 14 at the top and 22 at the bottom.

"Whoa, that sounds harsh, dude."

Yeah, and we don't even have see invisible yet; I think we'll do some more of the Downs before taking that on. Oh yeah, I allocate skill points 1 to Bearform-combat, 1 to Temporal, 1 to Divination, and 2 to Conveyance.

"Hey, Temporal's up to 15 now; that means we can, like, cast the speed spell, right?"

Yep. Wanna take it for a spin?

"You know it, dude! Hang on! By the power of Whats-his-name, ACCELERATE!"

$/!\$ I'm not even going there… With Essence of Speed up and Explor set to running, my speed in bear form is +3. Annoyingly, its duration is rather short, and it's fairly expensive in mana and has an annoyingly high fail rate. Oh well, it's a start.

It improves slightly with the acquisition of clvl 12 shortly thereafter from the twelfth Baby white dragon. I allocate skill points 1 to Bearform-combat, 1 to Temporal and 3 to Spell-power, which pushes Essense of Speed up to spell effect level 3. Hmm, I'll need to get it to 5 to go any faster, but this does buy me a few extra turns duration and a slightly lower failure rate.

The last dragon takes me to within 22xp of the next level, and Mr. F. Fingers offers me Thaumaturgy, Necromancy, Magic-Device or Monster-lore. Well, that's an utterly useless set of choices… I take Magic-Device as the least useless. By the time I finish the level, I'm up to clvl 13, with skill points going 1 to Bearform-combat and 4 to Spell-power.

Annoyingly, my pack is full again; back, then, to:

Bree

I ID (by selling) my first Potion of Cure Light Insanity, to start my stockpile. Still no Spellbook of Identify in the stores, and a shopping tour gives no joy—though it does net me a fate to find a Potion of Water on dlvl 18.

"Dude! What kind of a bogus fate is that?"

The kind that symbolizes the uselessness of the shopping tour, I suppose… $:\$ I go ahead and pick up a Spellbook of Recall for future use, and then return to:

Part 3 of 3

BDw 6, take 2

"What a boring place…" I manage to slightly offset my precipitously descending mana (now -2348) with a few Snotlings and Snagas; otherwise, fast-forward to:

BDw 7

"You like the look of this place…" Now things are getting a bit more interesting. Just a few moves in, Sense Monsters detects Wormtongue in a checkerboard pit. This will take a bit of preparation…

I lure Wormtongue out of the pit (eating a Noxious Cloud from him in the process) and Phase Door to an adjacent room. From here there's a wall between us, so that I have fallback in case Essence of Speed fails. Luckily, it doesn't, and I lure him around the corner next to me. One turn takes him down 5 stars, and he misses this turn thanks to my speed advantage; next turn I take him down to 1 star, and he steals some money and teleports away, just to spite me. I'm not worried, though; by now he's bleeding badly enough that it only takes him a few turns to die. Now I just have to find where he died… $:\$

A pack of Snagas takes me to clvl 14; I allocate skill points 1 to Bearform-combat, 1 to Temporal, and 3 to Spell-power. That pushes Essence of Speed up to spell effect level 7, which means my running speed in bear form is now +4 and the fail rate is noticeably lower.

I end up having to search almost the entire level before finding Wormtongue's drop: 30 Bolts. Hmm, this could go for a lot of cash; let's go find out:

Bree

Wormtongue's drop turns out to be 30 Bolts of Flame (+1,+5), and goes for 16080gp. Still no Spellbook of Identify in the stores, and no luck in the shopping tour—but this time the hail-mary pass takes, and the Bree book store has one in stock as I come back. I also pick up a Spellbook of Reveal Ways—not strictly necessary, but at berzerker/running, my Searching is atrocious.

"Dude, this is an awful lot of books to carry around…"

Yes, Mages are often faced with that problem in the early game. At least you're fairly strong for a Mage; imagine if you were, say, a Yeek…

"A-hem! (zizz)"

Sorry, couldn't resist… Anyway, with all this in hand, we're ready to return to:

BDw 7, take 2

"You like the look of this place…" Nothing much interesting at first, other than some Manes allowing me to desperately claw my piety back from the brink. Then I run into Mughash near the center of the level. Oddly, he's wandering around completely alone; according to Sense Monsters, his entire entourage (all Large Kobolds) is asleep in the next room. A poor choice on his part, I think…

"Halt, you mangy dog-man… uh, king guy thing. You are a servant of evil, and I shalt, like, totally smite you righteously!"

[slaps forehead] Just kill him, already.

"Dude, don't rush me, I'm getting to that."

Mughash falls in two turns, and his entourage is not much more trouble. They push me over the top to clvl 15, and I allocate skill points 1 to Bearform-combat, 1 to Temporal, and 3 to Spell-power. My unhasted speed in bear form is now down to -8, but with Essence of Speed now up to spell effect level 9, my full speed (with running) stays at +4. Hmm, Sense Hidden is also up to spell effect level 15, gaining the see invisible power.

"Does that mean we can, like, go do the Manwe god dude quest thing now?"

Probably, but I want to do at least the next princess quest level first. Now, let's go see what Mughash dropped… a Frozen Lucerne Hammer (+1,+2) and a Spear (+2,+4). Not bad. His entourage didn't drop anything of interest. The rest of the level is uneventful, and we proceed to:

BDw 8: Princess quest for 12 Novice possessors (soul)

"You feel strangely lucky…" Sheesh, talk about anti-climactic.

"Why? What are they?"

The disembodied spirits of Possessors trying to find a body to possess.

"Whoa! Dude, they can't, like, possess my body, can they?"

No, they can only possess dead bodies. And since they have no attacks and only one hit point, it's unlikely they'll be able to kill you.

"*whew …Wait, bogosity check; how do a bunch of wimpy ghost things like that capture a princess?"

Well, I would assume they were just left to guard her, actually.

"Yeah? And who leaves a bunch of wimpy ghost things to guard a prisoner instead of, like, big strong Ogres or something?"

Beats me, let's just go rescue her. Since there's twelve of them, the quest room will be the lake form. We're entering on the northeast corner of the level, and luckily, they're not very far in…

"No, brave warrior, we have never met. I am certain I would remember a warrior as brave and… um, ursine as yourself."

"But, Princess Lady," *swat* "I've already, like, rescued you once, from those Novice mental cases." *rake*

"No, I– oh, now I understand your confusion. Princess Clarice of Castle Cagliostro was recently rescued from similar captivity six levels above us; I am Princess Zoot of Castle Augh. Are you the same brave warrior who rescued Clarice? Then I am truly fortunate."

"But, like, you look just like her!" *maul*

"Yes, that is a mysterious and ill-understood phenomenon that is said to have puzzled scholars for centuries. A wise sage once told me that it is called the Officer Jenny Effect, due to its appearance in the animated television series Pok–"

Um, excuse me, Your Highness, but if you continue that line of discussion much further, you're going to get me in trouble for trademark infringement.

"Oh! My apologies, gracious Narrator. Ah, thank you, brave warrior, you have slain my captors and freed me from my captivity. As a reward, you may choose one of these three powerful magical items as a gift."

"(Yeah, just like that other princess lady who wasn't you. Like, what a coincidence.) Hmm, what do you think, dude?"

Well, the choices are a Beaked Axe, Flight Arrows, and a Lucerne Hammer. We can't use any of them, and the Flight Arrows will probably sell for the most.

"Good call, dude. Very well, then, Madam Princess Lady, I humbly accept your gracious gift of Flight Arrows with much gratitudosity."

"So be it, brave warrior; I leave them here for you." The princess vanishes in a puff of logic, muttering, "'Gratitudosity?' Sheesh, adventurers these days…"

"Dude, you don't think she was pulling my leg with that whole 'Officer Jenny' thing, do you?"

I've pretty much given up trying to figure out the princess quest, Bjorn. The arrows turn out to be 27 Flight Arrows of Flame (+5,+4). I don't think I'll bother with the rest of the level; instead we rest up, then proceed to:

BDw 9

"This level can't be all bad…" Ack, I forgot to stop praying to Manwe again; my piety is down to -2817.

"Man, this Manwe god dude sounds like a major hardnose."

Don't worry, he gets better further on. And here's some Snotlings to beat up on to get back on his good side.

"‘Kay. Halt, you midget goblin things!"

They net a Frozen Small Wooden Boomerang (+2,+2). The rest of the level is fairly boring; fast foward to:

BDw 10: Princess quest for 6 Stegocentipedes

"You feel your luck is turning." Hmm, Stegocentipedes are fast, but six of them means they're in the reduced-'X' quest room, so with luck I'll be able to fight them on my own terms. I enter near the center of the south edge of the level.

Nothing much of note for a while; a Skeleton human takes me to clvl 16, with skill points going 1 to Bearform-combat, 1 to Temporal, and 3 to Spell-power. That takes Essence of Speed to spell effect level 10, which means my new top speed in bear form is +5.

"Check it out, even my Manathrust is starting to pack some punch. Most excellent."

Ah, bears and their toys. I finally find the quest room near the southeast corner. The assault isn't as bad as I'd feared; a couple of them get in hits on me, but at +5 speed, I'm almost pacing them.

"Dude, I'm telling you, it's the same princess lady!"

Just let it go, Bjorn… The quest reward choices are Hard Studded Leather, a Ball-and-Chain, and a Dagger. Hmm, the weapons would sell for more, but the armor might actually be useful… what do you think, Bjorn?

"Hey, don't look at me, dude."

Well, you're a big help. I think I'll try my luck with the armor—which turns out to be Hard Studded Leather of Resist Acid [+6].

"Don't learn, do you, my boy? (zizz)"

Scat! Sheesh, camera hogs…

"I heard that."

*groan* Anyway, on that note, I take it back up to:

Bree

I'm not bad off for money anyway; the various loot I've accumulated brings me to 46964gp after restocking. Hmm, I could use a fresh Wand of Dig, though; Bree doesn't have any, so I swing by Gondolin, which doesn't have any either… $:\$ Well, I don't think I'll have to worry about that too much in the relic quest.

"So we're, like, doing the quest thing for Manwe god dude next?"

Yeah, I think it's about time we took care of that…

CHAPTER 2: We're Not Worthy! We're Not Worthy!

As mentioned in the last chapter, we're now headed out to find the relic quest temple.

"Find it? Didn't Manwe god dude, like, tell us where it is?"

Roughly. According to his message, it's "a very long way to the south-east of Bree, and a long way to the north-east of Minas Anor". That's a lot of ground to cover.

"Bogus, dude. He couldn't, like, give us a roadmap or something?"

(shrug) The ways of the gods are mysterious. Fortunately, it only takes about a day or so game time to find; it's not far east of Mirkwood Forest, about midway between Erebor and the Sacred Land of Mountains. In we go:

LTm -7

"You like the look of this place…"

"Whoa, dude! We're, like, inside a cloud! Totally intense!"

Yep, that's how Manwe's temples work. Now, keep your eyes peeled; we're going to have search every square inch of this level looking for the relic. And you'll need to keep the temporary see invisible from Sense Hidden up pretty much full time.

"Yeah, I can see all the ghosts and stuff. Is this place, like, haunted or something?"

No, invisible monsters are just fairly common in Manwe temples. We might even run into–

Smeagol touches you. Your purse feels lighter.

"Wha–? Hey, come back here, you… you deformed munchkin, you!"

Hmm, Smeagol leveled up to level 14 could be tough; we might just punt on him. Let's keep looking for the relic for now.

"But, like, he took our money!"

We still have plenty left. Let's just focus on what we're here for.

(shrugs) "‘Kay." [some time later] "Dude, there he is again! Let's get him!"

Yes, now that we have a chance to prepare, we'll try taking him. I restart Essence of Speed; on a hunch, I also set Tactic back down to normal from berzerker to get my AC back to normal, so that he's less likely to get away from me by hitting to steal. Actually, the battle goes much better than I expected; Smeagol never even tries to hit me, and between my six bear attacks per round, some Manathrusts to soften him up, and some bleeding on his part, he falls in just a few rounds.

"Man, what a wimp. You had me worried there, dude."

Besides his ring, Smeagol dropped a Dagger of *Slay Orc* (+6,+1) (+2). That finishes this level (one last quick paranoid sweep to be sure), and we need to restock; we're going to need a lot more Potions of Heroism at this rate, and I'm down to one charge on the Wand of Dig. We recall, then, to:

Wilderness

and spend most of the next day returning to:

Bree

Hmm, now that I've got Smeagol's ring, I can go do the Mushroom quest.

"Dude, check out some of these mushrooms this hobbit farmer guy's growing. I'm definitely gonna have to come back and see if I can, like, score some more of these."

Kids these days… The quest nets:

The Sling of Farmer Maggot (+20,+0) (+2), which activates for terrify every 10+d50 turns and +2 searching, infravision and shots

I think I'll wear wear that for the infravision boost. After a quick side trip to Gondolin to sell off Smeagol's dagger, my gold is up to 61029gp. A bit of restocking, and we recall back to:

LTM -7, take 2

"What a boring place…"

"Dude, haven't we, like, searched this level already?"

Yes, but the relic placement check is done each time the level is generated, so we have to search it again.

"Whoa. Totally heinous, dude."

As you say.

"Hey, what does this relic thing look like, anwyay?"

Like a purple 'R' with a circle around it. [Editor's note: That's after some char/attr tweaking on my part. By default, the relic looks like a purple tilde in ASCII mode.]

"You mean like that thing over there?"

Hey, that is the relic, just a few rooms in. Good catch, Bjorn.

"Dude, this wasn't near as hard as you made it sound."

We got lucky. The next one will be worse, believe me. Well, with the quest reward, my Prayer skill is up to 2.5; another one of these and I'll be able to cast Noxious Cloud.

"Whoa, righteous! Maybe this Manwe god dude isn't so bad after all."

Indeed. Our job here done, we recall back to:

Bree

We need very little restocking, as we were rather overstocked for the relic quest anyway. Next time, the Orc Cave…