Here it is; the days in the life of Grim, the dark-Elven necromancer. This DitL is fresh from the forum, and will probably be exclusive here (Shame... I like the forum, ah well) Here it goes.

Prologue

Grim, (At this point, Olim) has always been a bit whimsical compared to other denizens of Middle-Earth. As a youth she'd watch the adventurers going out on great quests for greater treasures. Life was goob!

Now, Morgoth's march of chaos and the threat of Sauron hangs over the land, the shadow of doom hangs heavily over... HOLD IT! This is what Olim is about. She beleives terror is a weapon that Morgy and others can use to control their enemies, so if we lose our fear in them, maybe even poke fun at them, they lose one of their weapons. Olim began to tire of the new breed of adventurer going out to stop Morgoth; People with alias like 'Doomslayer' and 'Nighthawk' and 'Killshadow' etc, all wearing black and constantly scowling. Oh yes, I can just feel the angst. So, just to make it as perverse as possible, Olim decided to become one of the darkest classes, the Necromancer, but with what can only be described as a 'jaunty' outlook on life. ...and death... DUN DUN DUN!!!

ACT I - What The Nether-Realm!?

Bree

My adventuring life began the moment I bought a Lantern for 88 gold. What a rip! You'd think evil cave-dwelling commanders of the undead would be better accepted in Bree!

After my fleecing at the general store all I could get at the armoury was some soft leather boots. Wonderful. The only monsters these are going to deter are very short ones.

STILL!!! I had a quick natter with F.M., who seems oddly at ease around a necromancer, listened to his request, ignored it, and headed for the Downs.

BDw 1

'Leave me alone, stupid war bear!' 'You have a superb feeling about this level.'

"Really?" I ask my computerised alter-ego. "You must be flippin' mental."

As soon as I strode in heroically I trip over a leather cap. I don't bother trying to walk around, pondering if it's {good} or not, and just whap it on. No curse. The words 'RNG' and 'Sucker Punch' float through my mind.

Next turn I come to there's a lil wand just lying there, so I nabs it and ponder its machinations. The first proper room wasn't too fancy: Just a floating eye, looking bored. I tried using the wand on it, but all it does is make the darn thing healthier. Automizer destroyed the foul thing with vigor.

Still, I paced the room a bit, wondering how to kill this thing in melee fairly with a necromancer, as it has no fear and I can't horrify it. In the corner, surrounded by Theme brand mist, was a small wooden boomerang. HMM!

I stood one square away from the floating eye, and stare it down. Setting my tactics to berserker, I let out an insanity-tinged cry as I threw... my beginner's parchment. Obviously the actual character in the game isn't the unskilled one here. I cursed my fingers before trying again.

Amazingly, the boomerang hits! But the floating eye remains in the realm of the living. So I just ignore it. "SEE you later. Geddit, 'see'?! I kill myself." Being a necromancer, that may actually be true later on.

The next room appeared to be something of a greenhouse, with a green mushroom patch and a turnip. I think: The boomerang has already gone, and this freakin' neccy has only 9 HP! And it's yet another thing I can't scare. So I threw the turnip with aplomb. It actually connected too, shame it didn't hurt it. Scouring the room a bit more I found a ration, which was also thrown at the mushrooms. Still nothing. I thought this basic food was meant to be hard and dry: Surely a good-sized ration would smoosh a few mushrooms? I continued on, my kill count still zero.

By now I had three potions, don't you know. A gold-speckled one, a clear one, and a MANLY(!!11one1) one. Does that mean anything to you? No! Let's continue!

Next item found is that most useless item: The iron spike! There quite a few of them; maybe more fodder for my neccy's fetish for throwing odd things! Suddenly, a war bear lunges forth through the mist!!! Tactics coward, exporation running: AAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!

Bree

*puff* *pant* Well then. This character is going to be fun. The Barrow-Downs are bear infested, and the wilderness has been pumped up by the Theme module! Still, may as well TRY the wilderness, though it may be my last... and, er, first.

Wilderness

I wander, aimless. For those of you who read these things for the sheer amount of action and artifacts, you may be dissapointed. I meet a butterfly (Hello butterfly), a mean-looking mercenary (Hello mercenary: Said from a distance) and a moth. "Hello... maybe I could beat that!" Of course, they bred like the clappers, and I managed to slay three before it appeared to be my downfall from insects that like hitting lightbulbs... er, I mean lanterns. Honestly, being killed by moths?! How big are these moths? Mind you, just last night some small bird that called itself a moth invaded my bedroom; needed more than glass an' paper for THAT...

Erm, anyway, then I remember that lovely function for seeing the entire map! <, fwoosh, saunter back to Bree.

Bree

BARROW-DOWNAGE

BDw 1

'This level can't be all bad...'

Huh, so YOU say. Anywho, first there are some jackals. Finally, a creature that can be scared! I freak the things out so bad they don't even realise their deaths. Next is a white mushroom patch, which I dispatched, easy. Then... a scythe (5d3)! What the Nether Realm ([pedant] As opposed to Hell [/pedant])!? I rush back to Bree, giggling psychotically.

Bree

Ah. As I return to purchase an ID scroll, I remember that I am not exactly flavour of the month class AND race-wise. In the end I have to sell me spikes for enough AU for the scroll. (AU... why not gold? Are we going to be fighting BR dragons and selling FE spikes?) ... ([megapedant] AU is the chemical symbol for gold [/megapedant])

Still, I read said scroll, and the text transforms into a manual regarding my scythe! How's that for a way how ID scrolls work? It's... uh... just a scythe. Oh. Still, 5d3 beats 1d4! At least for the moment, when the absurd dagger extra-blows aren't here yet.

I'm still, uh, level 1. And haven't even got a home yet. Can the scythe 'Blam-J00-outta-here-sucka' (After I get an artifact creation scroll...) beat the thieve's quest? Well, I'm too cowardly to do it, so back to the wilderness! On the way to Bree, an aimless-looking merchant was standing right in my way. On the way back he was still there, so what else could I do? I scythed him good... HEYYY! Necromancer... scythe... I smell Grim Reaper!

Wilderness

I amble, with renewed confidence now I'm the next in line to be Death. I decide to start my reign of reaperage on a giant black ant. Fwoosh, head comes off, level 2! I spend 3 points on Necromancy, and 3 on Weaponmastery. I gotta get good with this scythe. In celebration of all this malarkey I changed my name to Grim. Isn't that fun?

Right then, standing on the crossroads is the Boar of Everholt. Ummm... no, I think. Thanks to a brillant withdrawl strategy, not running like a coward, I survive. On the way to a new wilderness spot I kill a common-or-garden boar instead.

A group of sheep watch me. Even in ASCII form I feel that unintelligent gaze. Maybe theythink I'm just a farmer... a farmer of SOULS! I kill a giant white mouse to get rid of the sheep-induced adrenaline.

All of a sudden, I am greeted with a companion! Roac, the son of Carc; a crow. He follows me, spouting irritating gibberish. Finally he says 'This is one for the Day in the Life archives!' I suddenly like it more.

Odd bird number two is a Kirinki. Just as I'm about to destroy the irritating thing it shrieks, and I feel a stampede comin'... I was out of the wilderness before the Kirinki's head hit the ground.

And so more and more creatures fall. Normal things: Jackals, ants, normal stuff. I saw that Boar again, and once again, I made a graceful retreat.

And then... level 3! That came unexpectedly. Most of the skill goes to necromancin', corpsekeepin', and sneakin'. Also, I get the ability to raise dead. The only corpses I've seen so far are jackals and aimless-looking merchants (My first soul reaped since my scythe-induced rampage).

Bree

Now that I is level 3, I finally pluck up the courage to have a go at the thieves' quest. Now, you're all familiar with this part: I open the door, the brick balanced on top of it falls on my head, I black out and wake up equipmentless.

Theives Quest

Has anyone ever noticed how that, even if you're a power-filled level 50 artifact-encrusted death machine, these petty rogues still get the drop on ya? Maybe at a certain level you could notice them, and the quest would be one short (and very easy) brawl.

Still, I wakes up, reclaim my underguarded equipment, suit up, and head for that oh-so-trapped door. Amazingly, I pick the lock first time round, but the alarm still goes off.

Four novice rogues bear down on me, but I get them in the thin corridor, scaring the pants off of them and reaping them one by one. The first one dropped a broken sword, which the second one grabbed before he was slain, then again with the third, then the fourth. Simple minds think alike.

Then comes the Bandit. I terrify him will enough, but as I'm hacking into him he snaps out of it, steals some of my money and some how teleports even though he's just some lowlife schmuck who couldn't even spell teleport. I start a personal, yet very short vendetta with this Bandit.

Battle numero three is the mage and the first warrior. Horrify, warrgh, slice, thump. Horrify, warrgh, slice, thump. Level 4! And a corpse to test out mah raisin' dead on! Then I think 'Ah... will this dead be friendly?' It's my first time as a neccy, and I'm not sure. I leave the corpse there to rot, or be cleaned out when this house becomes mine.

I pick the last lock and find the last two warriors. From now on; Horrify, warrgh, slice, thump will be shortened to HWST. So, HWST, HWST. Now to end this vendetta, that had lasted almost a hundred... seconds. I find the bandit cowering in what was my cell. 'How ironic.' I say in my best cool voice, then realise that isn't what the real Grim Reaper would say. Instead, I go 'Murrrh.' and chop him in half, reclaim my lost gold, acheive level 5, and save Bree! To celebrate, I chop up one of the corpses dotted around, and throw the chunks at a wall. A few moments later I realise this is now my house. Dangit. How much AU do cleaners charge these days?

WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO OLIM, ER... GRIM? WILL SHE BECOME THE GRIM REAPER? DID YOU KNOW SHE WAS A SHE? WILL SHE ACTUALLY GET PAST THE FIRST LEVEL OF THE BARROW-DOWNS?

Uh... maybe she'll just get stomped on by those war bears. I dunno.

ACT II - Dentist Death

Here's act two of th'tale, now that I've been given a kick in the captain's quarters by the chatter; mweh heh heh.

Bree

Sooo... yeah! I last left Grim standing outside her new and slightly messy house. For the time being all the unidentifyed potions I have can be stowed away.

Still, next objective: Actually get to the second level of the Barrow-Downs! Just as I was pondering how I should go about killing a bunch of war bears I noticed the lil' 'skill' icon was present: I have some skill points to spend!

Now, since the creation of Grim I had started another lovely little Mage file by the name of Antimaia. Like many Mage players, manathrust is used so much some actually modify their keyboards to have a 'MANATHRUST' button. Then I realise I have that book of beginner cantrips AND trainable mana... I (Real life) bash my head against a wall a few times for not getting manathrust earlier, then decide to vent my anger on the population of Bree for a bit (Not real life) with the late-acquired manathrust. Still, this has given me a better feeling of gusto for getting through the Barrow-Downs, so here we go!

BDw 1

'You have a superb feeling about this level.'

This time the above statement may actually be true: Many a war bear will fall in a rain of mana.

Well, with manathrust, battles are less of an event now so to speak, so I'll stop being so precise about them, but you can expect a lot of manathrust and HWSTs to come. A few floating eyes and white worm masses fall with little to no objection, and I find a jug of milk. Just as I'm about to keel over from excitement my lantern goes out with a solid *psknut*, if that's the sound a lantern makes...

Also, for some reason, I'm flask-of-oil-less. Honestly, you see all these other DitL's accounts of meticulously preparing all their potions and spellbooks, and here I am with no light source even.

Bree

I sulkily purchase some flasks of oil, and skulk back into the darkness. Ooh, how Gothic. Barring the milk.

BDw 1

'Looks like any other level.'

Whaddaya mean OTHER level? This is the only one you've been on so far! Oh yeah, and hunger strikes. I partake of a picnic before I begin my search for these 'Yogi Bears'.

Not much going on. A fountain, and another floating eye. That's been the first monster I always meet on this level, maybe they're hoping to gain notoriety by killing a foolhardy newbie Maia. 'Hey, I killed one of a Valar's cronies!'

I test out my Raise Dead skill for the first time on the ocular pnumativore's corpse... and a spectral floating eye rises from the grave, AHAAAHAAHAAA! ...but it doesn't move. At all. Let's hope a Mr. F. Fingers will be bestowing some symbiosis soon.

While stumbling through the fog I have a glance at the quest screen. There's twelve of the little ursines I have to kill. Wonderful. Back to stumbling.

There's quite a few fountains dotted around now too, not that they're of any use to me. You'd have to be a nut to regularly drink from fountains without bottles on hand, and this Grim of mine can't seem to handle her drink it seems.

And then, rounding the corner... sheep! A whole crowd of the things. I leave the dimwitted flock alone (Did you know that a sheep does more damage than a Corsair of Umbar? Barmy, absoloutely barmy.).

The battle begins! I find the offending quest in one of those rooms with the big lake. Good: I'm pretty sure these things can't swim. I try my luck with ol' MT and it takes off two stars. Good for fighting a powerful unique in Angband; bad news for fighting a quest schmuck on BDw 1. I decide to run, very fast...

...but not leave the level. My plan was to lure them away one at a time where I have a chance of victory, but no; a whole bunch of the fish-gobbling teddies follow me until I'm pinned in a deadend room. Then something rare happens: I have an idea!

I realise the stun duration of my horrify is pretty long, 8d4. I realise that I could kill these guys in around four or five MTs, but I would run out of mana beforehand. So... I horrify one in the passageway, barring the other's progress, then rest. By the time the blocking bear is unstunned I have made a mana profit! Exulentish!

This idea is not perpetual though. Every time the bear turns to fight it gets a step closer, eventually unclogging the corridor. So it's mental time, boys and girls! Well, running and coward anyway. Horrify, warrgh, slice, miss, slice, miss, think better of it, back off, manathrust, manathrust, thump, level 6! Yay!

I have a perdicament now. It appears only one other war bear had the volition to follow me, but I'm running on empty manawise. The skills I advance are deadly important: Mana and spellpower? No. They would increase the mana cost, something I really don't need right now. One goes towards necromancy naturally, bringing me to my level maximum. Maybe thurmaturgy... I'm untrained now, but if I get a good enough thurma-spell, it may see me out of this (Once I started with a 2d8 time bolt that only costed 1 mana with an Elven thurma named after my account here).

Brainwave number two, woo! Conveyance is the answer; I'm gonna phase outta there! With this grand plan in motion, I realise the lone war bear that followed me is injured from my previous thrusting {nmiaow}. So it's my old favourite, HWST! It's odd how I changed from coward to berserker to coward again. Such is the power of the Grim Reaper!!!!!!!1111one111

I rest back to my former glory: Now I can kick some bearbutt. As I bonus, the second bear left a corpse: Arise, my zombie war bear; seek and destroy, muwahaha! Forget EXP, I just want to pass this alive.

Here's I thing I stole from Zizzo: Anticlimax! I suddenly realise that I'm better at fighting than I thought, and with berserker firmly in place, war bears fall in two rounds or less. My HWST tactic is a bit jittery here: I got two fails out of five, and with my berserker AC at -19 and HP at 30, mistakes cannot be made.

More bears are comin', two to be in fact, so I open up the neccy menu when I realise that I've now got necromantic teeth! Levels 7 and 8 came VERY quickly fighting these. I test it out: Spectral neccy tooth, woo! Even though its abilties are to die for (Full-wraith form activation, anyone?) the stats are rubbish, so I throw it at the war bear, along with the milk I found. The throwing of odd things continues! Then I get serious (Comparitively) and MT the first war bear.

Next comes the second, and I perform my characteristic newbie move: The spell stagger. This is when I use a macro to cast a spell, it fails, and instead of aiming the spell I stumble forward a space right next to the monster. The war bear doesn't waste its chance and lays into me FOR...!!!! 12 HP. At 42HP max now (Level 9 came with that last bear, w00t) memories of Bjorn annihilating quests return. This Reaper no longer fears ursines bred for war! Have at thee!

<intermission>

No, all right. This is REALLY weird. While writing this and playing ToME I was browsing the forum, but when I came back I had this!

The Necromantic Teeth of Airnuin (1d4) (+6,+3) {cursed}

WHAT THE HOOZIT!? ANCIENT FOUL CURSE!? Yes folks, you heard it here! Level one Barrow-Downs, and an AF curse!

...I-I haven't equipped it, s-s-so I suppose the curse isn't in effect...

Phew, I think that this isn't a brown-trousers situation after all. I'm just going to finish my bear slaying, get my reward, and place this thing in the Mathom house... careful now... (Why would something with an AF curse be blessed?)

Back to the fight. There was only one bear left. After that revelation it was like a white mushroom patch in terms of importance; bosh, dead. The quest is complete! Normally I'd be throwing my hat up in the air and whooping, but the mystery artifact has un-nerved me. Still, I choose a small metal shield over a sling and bolts. Time to head back to Bree!

Bree

There. The curse has been put into a quaint little Hobbit mathom-house. How fitting. The small metal shield turned out to be 'of resist cold'. At this point it's probably better if I sell it instead. Why did the armourer have to be a High-Elf!? I got proper fleeced.

JUMPIN' GRANDMA ON A STICK! GRIM HAS BEEN BEQUEATHED WITH AN ARTIFACT ALREADY! SHE HAS WITNESSED THE TERROR OF THE ANCIENT FOUL CURSE! AND SHE HAS ONLY JUST GOT PAST LEVEL ONE OF THE BARROW-DOWNS!

Wowsers, I impressed myself with that artifact. Normally I'd put in some degrading remark about my DitL here, but for now I'll postpone it. Until next time!

Act III - Release The Hounds!

Bree

I last left Grim in a very bittersweet situation: The war bears that for some odd reason captured a princess had been defeated! Hooray! But to counter, some unknown force slipped me a randart packing an ancient foul curse! Conspiratorially, Grim beleives that the RNG is beginning to lose its patience with Grim and her reluctance to die, and will eventually lose all false pretences and just summon hundreds of Great Worms of Power around her whilst shopping at the armoury.

Conspiracy theories aside, Grim's next dilemma is this: Her reward for the first quest had been paltry, and since the armourer who bought the reward (A small metal shield of cold resistance) had been a bit... snippy, with the pricing; barely 1300AU was made. High-Elven snobs...

What would you spend this on? Better equipment, perchance? Well, currently I've got umpteenth unID'd scrolls and potions clogging up my backpack and home, so ID scrolls come first. Maybe I'll just sneakily buy some hard leather armour anyway (Naughty Grim! Naughty!).

Amazingly enough, the alchemist of Bree isn't a Dark-Elf hating xenophobe, and I manage to get enough ID scrolls for everything, and even some recall scrolls! Cemendur, you're on mah will now...

The items I had been carrying went thusly:

Some potions of water (Why not just 'bottle' of water? Quaffed!)

After this lovely business transaction with the charming Mr. Cemendur the human, it's back to the armour for 'You're type isn't welcome here boy' Alatariel the High-Elf. Grmbll... I manage to buy an iron helm without selling any equipment/limbs/houses/family members/things that aren't mine.

Still, after a rousing pep talk from a boil-covered wretch Grim is psyched and ready to plummet into the Downs! CHAARGE!

BDw 1

'This level can't be all bad...'

Amazingly, I didn't trip over anything immediately, and the lantern didn't go out either! When you're hot, you're hot. I'm in such a good mood over this I let a bat follow me all the way to the down stairs before eventually manathrusting the thing to oblivion. Annoying imbecile.

BDw 2

'Looks like any other level.' 'Leave me alone, stupid fox!'

I'm pretty sure there's more than one fox: These princess' grammar needs to be checked. Still, foxes are easy right? ...right? I move onwards in good spirits when a mushroom patch gets the jump on me, spores me with confusion, and I stagger backwards through a door and fall into a jar of honey. Perfect.

I scout out the next room: Foggy, like the ones I've just seen. Some Cs are coming through the other door: Foxes! Moderately prepared, I begin thrusting and horrifying (Ooh er) haphazardly, but a little way into the conflict I rememer that for some reason sheep are more powerful than Corsairs of Umbar, so foxes... oh...

Suddenly, I rememeber I've got phase door. 'So long, suckers!' Grim declares as she triumphantly phases... roughly two squares the left. The foxes pursue and continue to bite Grim's shins. HP is getting quite low now... h-heh heh...

I try phasing again, this time it fails. Wonderful. For some reason, Grim takes on the form of a giant red '1' instead of her normal '@' form. Vision fades as she thinks she sees a big fat guy in a blue vest with 'RNG' written on it, laughing and smoking a Cuban cigar, caressing a chalkboard with the highscores on it, "Come to me, Grim!"

With her last... ooh, I'd say quarter-ounce of strength Grim tries one last phase... and appears in a corridor some distance away. She hears an angered voice from the room she used to be in, "Arrgh, I'm not letting her escape! Tails, McCloud, hunt her down and you'll get all the kibble you can eat!" ...once this is over Grims gotta drink some of them cure insanity potions.

Looks like the foxes mean business, and they invade the corridor before I get time to heal. They're shrieking for help an' all! Is this the end of Grim?! I'm writing this as I play so I don't know yet even. What isn't helping is that the ESC key has a one second delay for some reason and its really bugging me. For some reason I'm not coward/running; I rectify this.

I stumble one step closer through the mist; The stairs!!! A fox takes a snap at Grim's heels but misses. Allright, pace yourself. ...attempt one last step so I get on the stairs, risking a fox nabbing my last 7 HP and sending me to the Void to have my wrist slapped by Melkor for all eternity? Or do I phase instead, possibly sending me to safety, possibly sending me into a fox's gaping maw...

With a tirade of screams and not-appropriate wordage Grim taking a fateful step towards the stairs.

The foxes are aware that Grim is on the brink of escaping: One lunges! It sinks its blood-soaked fangs into Grim's leg as she screams... then keeps on screaming... then slowly stops as she realises the bite only took 3HP. Both feet are on the stairs, ready and willing to ascend. The foxs stare with utter contempt: It's Grim's turn now (Literally)! With a flourish < is pressed and Grim leaves the foxes behind like a bunch of Daleks (Why don't they follow you?).

BDw 1

Back up on level 1 Grim collapses, panting. She has evaded the RNG for now. Now she knows what it musta been like for that midget dude, Frudo or whatever.

Still, can't blame all Grim's failures on an imaginary semi-deity! Back down we go, all rested up and ready to fox hunt!

BDw 2

Once again, Grim strides forth, and once again, trips on something. This times it's a summon monsters trap! One giant mouse, one novice warrior and a green jelly. Shouldn't be TOO difficult...

The assailants fall to combination of horrifying and manathrusts. It took that one too many thrusts to kill the warrior: Gotta train that mana stat! I turn coward off but still leave running on, Justin Case.

Around the next bend is one of my personal dislikes early in the game: The horde of cave spideyatkins! However, one thrust each is good enough for 'em. I'm getting some trust back in manathrust now.

So I walk into a new room, but it's a deadend and very boring. However, as I turn around I realise three figures stalking towards me... the foxes ambush me! ...again!

But I'm more ready this time, in a hail of screaming and manathrusts and finally falls, but the others are already upon, biting and howling and such and such. For some reason they go through Grim like butter; surely my AC is enough for this! My health goes red again, but this time when I phase, they don't follow. Rested up, I hunt again for the foxes minus one.

Almost immediately after I start two more appear. The first one I manage to get at a distance but the other one is determined to go toe to toe with me. Luckily, Grim is ready and waiting. Horrify, cut, gouge, manathrust, slice, slice, maim, manathrust, slash, and then as the final manathrust hits the damned thing there's a mind-mangling explosion; all that's left of it is a smoking fur coat. "Level 10, sucker." 1 to necromancy, 1 to corpse preservation, 2 to mana, 2 to magic. I'm psyched and ready to kill!

More foxes are coming. Three of them. I thrust and horrify for all I'm worth but it just isn't cutting it. Then I remember the two fox corpses behind me... quick as a flash I'm standing behind my newly-resurrected fox skeleton! It's hardly a GWoP, but it'll do.

For some odd reason, the foxes retreat. Geez, the raise dead thing healed them, and they retreat! Cowards. I give the skeleton fox a fitting name, "Baron Vileus Satanicus Gore: Kill.".

Ol' B.V.S.G. doesn't move, at all. This one isn't a floating eye: It should be moving!!! Eventually, I decide to take the lead, only to get a fox in the face. I displace the skeleton in front of me and it begins battle with the previously-wounded fox. It loses. I try reviving it. It appears again, hostile this time.

...all those who haven't played necromancers? This is what you've gotta put up with. &£(&$"*&$"(*$&""£$...

My anger passes over to Grim is seems, as her manathrusts get some extra juice and nuke two of the three foxes; the third one runs.

I've learnt from my mistakes now; I'm not hunting them, I'll wait for them to come to me. Two of them do, and they die rather nastily: Serves 'em right! Level 11 was rightly deserved. (These things are really getting on my nerves now!)

There's a corpse: I revive it: A zombie fox! I name him Jeff: Big evil names just don't mix with me, it seems.

I chase the remaining foxes into another room: In my hail of thrusts I accidentally hit Jeff before he does anything, and he turns on me. Eventually they all die apart from one: I resurrect a skeleton again, and this time it actually manages to dispatch the last fox. There is one fox left out there somewhere, and its got Grim's name on it!

Suddenly, a second skeleton joins my side: It never rains, but it pours I suppose. The last fox shows its cowardly face: One of my skeletons chase it off.

Grim waits.

The other skeleton tries to gnaw its own leg.

Eventually, I got bored of waiting and went off actually looking for the Princess (Which I hadn't even found yet.) Just as I see the Princess, the last fox appears, chewing on the bones of my twice-deceased comrade. HWST!!!

'There great hero, I put it there.' Read that out loud; like I said, these Princesses need their grammar checked. I nailed a large leather shield for this quest; will it be any good? I recall back to see.

Bree

I get another ID scroll and check the shield: It's resist fire. THESE - ARE JUST - NOT WORTH IT! I sadly walk into the armoury as Alatariel watches from the window, grinning repulsively...

THE ARMY OF EVIL FOXES HAS BEEN VANNA-QUISHED! WILL GRIM EVER GET A GOOD PRINCESS REWARD? IS THIS HIGH-ELF ALATARIEL BECOMING AN ARCH-ENEMY OF SORTS? CAN'T BURB LULLS KEEP THE SAME TENSE THROUGHOUT THE STORY?

Act IV - Sebastian

Jings! I've stopped this for ages! This isn't new as some may know, it's just the last bit of the DitL from the forum. After this, the story continues proper? Shall we continue?

Bree

I last left Grim standing outside the Armoury that housed her worst enemy, Alatariel the High-Elf. Now there's a guy who needs to be a unique in my module... erm, anyway. From the second quest of mine in the Barrow-Downs I had got a large leather shield of resist fire. I flog it and get just over 1000AU in return. Lovely.

At least now I have some spending power. ...some. First order of business is to get some recall scrolls. My Elf Swordmaster' lost her's/it's (Neutrality...) WoR deep in Mirkwood thanks to an ill-placed vault, and is slowly trudging back on foot... I don't think Grim has to worry about that for a while. Luckily, Ceremdur the alchemist (Somebody who needs to be a friendly unqiue in my mod) has them on sale for non-extortionate prices and I get two for 440AU. Current AU: 731. Me an' Ceremdur have a... rapport. I also decide to get some scrolls of satisfy hunger, teleportation and magic mapping. Basic stuff.

After a quick bite to eat and a rest at the inn (Gruel? The high life...) I'm possibly ready for another round of difficult quest-doing! On the way to the Downs I upgrade from soft leather boots to hard leather boots and get some hard studded leather. Current AU: 117.

BDw 1

As soon as I charge into the Downs my lantern goes out, but this time I have oil! 'HA!' I laugh at no-one imparticular. I run on a little further and come to a pile of rubble. I don't have a digger. 'HA!' no-one imparticular laughs back.

Bree

I do a quick fury-fuelled dash back to the general store to get some sort of digger. There's nothing. Ol' Berylla the shopkeeper informs me they were all bought by a guy named Alatariel mere minutes ago. Grmbl... I buy some wine instead, inscribe it with '#named Alatariel' and throw it at a mean-looking mercenary. He chases me all the way back to the Downs.

BDw 1

I almost trip over a silver mushroom patch, but don't. I round one corner and the down stairs are there, no rubble, no OOD monster, no lantern going out. Is something going swimmingly for Miss. Grim!? I refuse to beleive it.

BDw 2

I round the first corner of the second level, feeling good about the last level's lack of problems. Grim steps on an arrow trap and no less than three arrows pierce her . Then a monster rounds the corner, but at least it's just a blue Yeek. He falls with one swipe, and then another blue Yeek appears. He falls. If Orfax or Boldor (Or Zizzo) are here on level 2 I swear I'll do something... um... not very nice. Luckily, they aren't. Grim continues, but not before resurrecting one of the Yeek's to do her evil/misguided bidding. I command it to 'Seek and destroy'. Nothing happens. Oh well, at least that's normal.

Life continues. For some reason Grim gets weighed down to +3 speed by a potion (Haha! Weakling!) and then finds some other unID'd wonders. And a turnip. And a tater. Still, the next staircase is directly ahead of me; what terrifying monsters will I encounter on this third quest? Let's find out!

BDw 3

'Leave me alone, stupid Dark Yeek!'

Hrrrrrmmm... Yeeks of darkness... I think I remember them doing some summoning from somewhere... in the end my moral's crumble and I sneak a peek at r_info.txt (Hey, I have to look at it all the time for module making, so nyah).

Alright... level 8 monster... CAN summon kin, 1 in 9 along with cause cursing and wounds... can also do more damage than the monster immediately above it with is a level 21 monster. Lovely. Oh well, time to wreak havoc.

I read a magic mapping scroll. The rooms that appear don't have any princess chambers; the Yeeks still have the element of surprise. But so do I! Well, not on 'running' mode I don't, and I'm not slowing down since I'd be too slow from all the immensely heavy pieces of paper I'm carrying.

I sneak along apprehensively. Usually I'm never this cautious (Note: NEVER play ToME with a weak class when listening to high-tempo music! I tend to tap the keyboard to the beat) To ease the tension I name the turnip Barry White and the tater Lord Frankfurt. Cute, but not useful. My current inventory is this:

a - A book of beginner cantrips. b - A turnip named Barry White. c - A tater named Lord Frankfurt. d - 3 rations of cram. e - 4 flasks of oil. f - A potion of detect invisible. g - A cyan potion. (Heavy!) h - 3 scrolls of teleportation. i - 3 scrolls of word of recall. j - 3 scrolls of magic mapping. k - a scroll of detect invisible l - 4 scrolls of satisfy hunger m - 2 scrolls titled "bot flit wun" n - A scroll titled "trimix oxyme"

Well, at least I had the perception to get some teleportation scrolls. The first place I head to is one LONG corridor; bad news against people with summon spells and curses, even with all this fog. Plus I don't have any precious means of digging. I head the other way.

After finding my first ring (Woo! Probably weakness!) and making a spectral white mushroom patch I come round a corner to find a floating eye right next to me. Alright, careful Grim. I had a level 30 character who stupidly forgot free action, and he died thanks to one of these suckas. I cautiously manathrust it. It dies. Phew. I continue.

Reaching the boundaries of my last magic mapping I magic map again, and find the princess chamber. Bad news: It's lava. Good news, the only way in doesn't have loads of Yeeks crawling over it. Bad news: The only way anywhere inside is teleportation or lavawalking, both are risky. I decide to phase door inside. 'Coward' on... and... warrgh! Three Yeeks have somehow escaped! I thrust them all, they all fall in one thrust each. Maybe this is going to be easy. So... one... two... three... voop!

"Warrgh! Hot lava!" "Hey! Who's the dork in the black robes?!" "I am the Grim Reaper! And I shall... yeeow, this lava is HOT!" "Shall we kill her, Sebastian?" "Yes Alfonso. Lets." "Lava or no, you're going down! THRUST! THRUST!" "You don't need to say 'thrust' you dolt!" "Oh, be quiet Princess. We don't want to be copying Bjorn too much!" "Ahaha! I magically summon my kin, ha!" "Did you? I can't see 'em." "...me neither. Odd..." "Hey, I can get off the lava now! Good, these soles were about burnt through!" "And we wouldn't want that, would we?" "I said BE QUIET, Princess!"

Well, things seemed to be going well. 9 of the 11 Yeeks were immolated by thrusting, and the kin summoned didn't put in an appearance, AND I got level 12. But, the last few were being troublesome, and some other monsters decided to appear too. My health became 13/58. Time to scarper. One teleportation and...

I appear right behind my spectral mushrooms! Apart from stairs it's the best I could've asked for! Grim takes a deep breath, squares her shoulders and prepares for the fray once again...

Victory! And for once it isn't difficult and drawn-out enough to write about! The reward choices are a sickle, long sword or metal cap. I go with the sword, because I like them. Swordy swords. However, I cannot reach the ol' 2-square method of getting across the lava, two squares of shallow and one of deep is the best I can do. Oh well, I manage to get across anyway, it's hardly giving Melkor an Indian burn. I grab the long sword, and proceed onwards...

BDw 4

...only to recall immediately. I wanna know what this sword is! Oh yeah, and I tripped on a raven this time. Woo.

Bree

No ID scrolls. Wonderfulissimo. I'm contesting with the idea of going to Hobbiton, but in Theme wilderness travel is a lot more dangerous, ambushes everywhere. Eventually I decide to head to Hobbiton to the left (Advantage of Theme: Two starting towns!) but without using the map. Clever or what?

Wilderness

Grim wanders to the west, humming little ditties as she goes. She almost doesn't notice the frenzied barking... she did when she saw that telltale patch of blank soil and the three white Cs though. For those who don't know/care: I HATE these dogs. Thanks to some issues involving speed, noxious clouds and save files refusing to save I've seen way too much of these mutts. It makes me want to have ADOM's kick command implemented so I can give them a good punt! Still, the rage is caged for now and I evade them by heading north.

The first things I hear on the next screen are:

"You hear noise." "It dies."

Wonderful. Reminds me of the old country around here. The Theme wilderness difficulty (Or 'wildiculty' as I like to call it) shows true with sabre-tooth tigers wanting to sample Grim's flesh, but thanks to some slightly cheesy border hopping I make it to the next few screens.

These next wilderness squares are next to the old forest, so I can't border hop well on the southern side. I decide to head to the northern side instead. Here I made a big mistake: I looked away while running. When I looked back I saw a snow tiger ripping into Grim like she was a Christmas present. I had 8HP before I could escape. Close one, too close.

Eventually, wandering along on foot, boredom sets in. A sneak in a couple of full map movements until I come to the river: No WAY am I crossing that on the map.

There's cats everywhere. Tigers, night cats, tree cats, sabre-tooth tigers, snow tigers leopards, panthers. This module sure likes its overpowered moggies. My borderjumping moves from 'slightly cheesy' to 'full on stilton'.

The river is surprisingly event-free, barring a 6-headed Hydra. Honestly, with my better characters I take one square on the wilderness map and the national party of Greater Krakens decides to pay me a visit... I ask you... erm, anyway; Hobbiton is reached!

Hobbiton

All this for ID scrolls. I tell ya, the alchemist better have some (Most have umpteenth self-made artifacts, is ID too much to ask...?) Luckily, they do. Unluckily, the delightful Borin the Dwarf is the shopkeeper. In my experience Dwarves hate just about everything except Dwarves. Oh well, at least he's no Alatariel.

I ID the sword and... it's an acidic longsword (+3 +5)!!! Is it good to sell? Dunno, brands confuse me, although I have to admit acid and poison seem to get more AU. I sell it to another delightful Dwarf, Bofur. It gets 8000! I coulda got better with Spectral or whatever but I'm not wishing for the world: I have some spending power now!

Big stockup time! First, I ID everything I own. The ring turned out to be of leviation. Surprising it's not cursed. I equip it and begin floating; yay! The rest of the stuff is substandard. Next order of business is lots of scrolls and junk needed for basic survival! Don't want too much though; Grim can't lift much at all, the wuss. Lastly, I go to the better-equipped Hobbiton general store to get a pick and a fur cloak. Outside I get hit by a 'fur is murder' protester's placard.

Before recalling back to the depths I head over to the beastmaster to see what dead body they'd like as decoration for their shanty. An ogrillon's. Good... also, I research Melkor for no real reason. The recall says I 'banished him here in the void'. Strange, don't remember doing that.

BDw 4

'Leave me alone, stupid copperhead snake!'

Aaahh, I've forgotten what an easy quest sounds like! Magic map, saunter over to the five (Five, mwaha!) snakes and turn them into trendy handbags. For the reward I choose a dagger over gauntlets and a pike. Hey, it might be a *thanc!

BDw 5

'Leave me alone, stupid giant slug!'

Ack. Mesa no like giant slugs. Resiliant, and armour-ruining early in the game when you can't get easy repairs. And there's twelve of the globbers, which may or may not mean a big lava-water room, which would be bad news. Oh well, let's see!

One scruffy Hobbit and novice paladin later, I reach the princess, but the slugs are more than ready. I lure them back into the previous room where I can use fog to my advantage (Acid can't penetrate fog, though manathrusts can't either...) but the slugs are smart and they gang up on me. Eventually I nail one as I'm forced back into a corridor. The second devours it's corpse. Cannibals! Before I can back off more one gets in a cheap shot and ruins my shoes. Lava, acid, these things have seen a lot.

The next slug is tricky; the place I chose to retreat to was made for melee fighters it seems. I kill it, but not before having a few AC knocked off my studded leather. The next one damages my helm too, and there's seven to go. Egh... I beleive I'll survive, but my gear won't.

I enter the Princess room proper; the slugs are swimming towards me. How slugs are buoyant I don't know, and the water probably has salt in it... physics aside, these slimebags are getting too close. I back off and spot a corpse, which I revive. However, my minion is nowhere to be seen. As I ponder my lack of an undead slave two slugs get the drop on me, and corner me! As I fumble for a teleport scroll a gelationous war cry can be heard... it's a zombie giant slug! For the first time, my undead minion kicks some slug behind and sends them reeling; I finish the job.

The last three slugs are hiding in the corner of the Princess room. My zombified slug wastes no time in going in to bring them to an inch of their lives, me getting the finishing blow on them before they can spit even once. The Princess rewards me with some nice soft studded leather. Hooray!

TWO QUESTS IN ONE ACT? HOW HEROIC FOR GRIM! WILL SHE GET A LOST SWORD QUEST EVENTUALLY? WILL SHE FIND OUT HOW SLUGS SWIM? WILL ALATARIEL EVEN TOUCH HER ACID-EATEN EX-ARMOUR?

Find out in... er: 1, 2, 3... 4... um... oh yeah! ACT FIVE!

Chatter

MayLith: I'm really glad to see this story here -- been laughing my head off again. :) Fantastic job. (Please watch the "d" words...)

Freddie: Great read, you've got a knack. =)

DayInTheLifeArchive/Day in the life of the deadtastic Grim (last edited 2005-04-26 07:36:21 by BurbLulls)