Contents

  1. Parallel Bjorn, part 2
    1. CHAPTER 7, continued
      1. Part 5 of 9
      2. INTERMISSION: A-Questing We Will Go...
      3. INTERMISSION: Arachnocide
      4. Part 6 of 9
      5. INTERMISSION: Hard Core
      6. Part 7 of 9
      7. Part 8 of 9
      8. Part 9 of 9
    2. INTERMISSION: Don't Drink and Dive

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
Character sheet

Parallel Bjorn, part 2

CHAPTER 7, continued

Part 5 of 9

"Dude, don't forget, we've gotta reset the recall thing."

Right. Cross-country and down to:

LoM 45

"You have a superb feeling about this level." Hmm, there's a lesser vault (serpent) across the level from me; I suppose I should go do it. It's populated mostly by Half-trolls and Air hounds, with a couple dragons and… hmm, that junkart is moving. [checks visible-monsters window] Ah, apparently it's Emperor Mimic in disguise.

"Don't you mean… wait, didn't we… aw, man, not again…"

Heh. It's in the outer ring of the vault; I head back out the loop to the entrance and wait to ambush it. It drops:

Well, it certainly didn't do Emperor Mimic any good… ;) The rest of the vault nets nothing of interest; we recall from there to:

Wilderness

and back down to:

LoM 58, take 2

"Looks like any other level." No, actually, it looks exactly like the 1x1 level we got yanked out of to go to Gondolin. I mean exactly; some of the rubble is positioned differently, but the layout seems exactly the same. The monsters aren't as interesting, though… well, maybe that Storm of Unmagic on the west side.

The level goes quickly, netting a Potion of Intelligence and a Ring of Extra Attacks (+2)—no better than what I've got now, but it should sell for a lot. That Storm of Unmagic got in a couple time breaths this time, but hey, that's what I'm carrying the restoration junkart for. Pushing on, then, to:

LoM 59

"You have a superb feeling about this level." Hmm, there's a vault nearby, in the northwest corner. On the way thereto, I hear fighting.

"Hey, is that Gramps again?"

No, this time it looks like Fundin Bluecloak. He's harmless.

"Oh, one of those bearded short dudes. Hey, what's up?"

"Zounds! A bear who speaks man-style. Perchance art thou of the lineage of the legendary Beorn?"

"Yep, he's my Gramps. Even he doesn't call himself 'legendary,' though."

"In my homeland, the werebear Beorn is deemed naught but a children's tale; it is truly enlightening to meet aught of his kin in the flesh. What brings thee, then, into these sacred mountains? Dost thou also toil against the legions of the Evil One?"

"Yep, I'm a mighty Warper, goin' around slaying evil dudes. Some day I'm gonna vanquish Morgoth himself."

"O ho! Thy ambition is mayhap overlarge, but thy cause is noble. So be it, then; we shall return each to our own honorable quests, and mayhap our paths shall cross again."

"Yeah, see ya." Fundin wanders off. [Yes, I dismissed him. What's your point? -ed] "Dude, what was with that guy and all his 'thous' and 'mayhaps' and stuff?"

Well, he is a priest, and a Dwarven one, no less; it's not too surprising that the translation to English might come out a bit strained.

"Whoa. Remind me not to become a priest, then. Wait—aw, man, I should'a asked him what was so sacred about these mountains."

;) As before, the vault isn't so much a vault as a maze-like room carved right out of the mountains. It nets a Potion of Wisdom, maxing me at 18/140 WIS, :D a Potion of Intelligence, bringing me within one more potion of max, and a chest that had in it:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. If you're not interested in the priesthood, Bjorn, how about a last-minute career change to Demonologist?

"Uh, I think I'll pass, dude."

Heh. ;) The level is rather pedestrian for a while, with the exception of a treasure pit near the south edge of the level.

"Whoa, the walls, the swords, even the money is attacking us. Dude, I hope this isn't a flasback from those mushrooms…"

|) Hmm, this must be where demons start becoming more common; Sense Monsters is picking up a pack of Barbazu in a parallel corridor to my south, and a flock of assorted demons to my northeast, including a Lesser Balrog and a Nycadaemon. An Ethereal dragon joins in the fun as I try to set up tactical position. Except for a few slip-ups, though (like a Marilith getting summoned by a Hezrou I let into line of sight), the assault is fairly straightforward.

Before I can check out the loot, though, I'm lured north by a pack of Nexus hounds—and amongst all the purple Zs I detect a purple H—namely, Baphomet the Minotaur Lord. [checks notes] Hmm, 3500hp, +20 speed, some nasty spells and force breath, brutal melee damage… enh, I think we can take him. Whaddaya say, Bjorn?

"Let's rock his horns, dude. Halt, you evil walking cow guy!"

;) He has me worried after the first turn, as I only take him down two stars and he gets in 100hp worth of return attacks; two more turns, though, and he's down, dropping a bunch of junk. Now back through the demons' loot… nothing of interest, except:

and that isn't really of interest either, now that I think about it. :\ The rest of the level passes without much incident, beyond encountering my first Eye druj in a four-subroom pit room. Fortunately, he's right by the subroom door at an angle, so I can pick him of with knight's-move Manathrusts. A Mature green dragon in another subroom drops:

There's some irony in there somewhere… nah, it would've been ironic if Smaug had dropped it. Let's move on, then:

LoM 60

All together now: "You have a superb feeling about this level." |) A little early excitement when I detect the beginnings of a Greater wall monster infestation. Fortunately, as before, it was fomenting in a rather small room with only one exit, so I could contain and finish it before it got out of control.

And yes, that was the highlight of the 'superb' level. Let's try again on:

LoM 61

[insert 'superb level' joke here] Just for the variety, this level seems to have some destroyed areas. I'm gonna have to top off Thrain's wand when we get out of here. The interesting inhabitants of this level are an assorted pack of hounds: mostly Vibration hounds, some Plasma hounds, and a Water hound or two just for spice. Fortunately I spotted them in advance with Sense Monsters, soon enough to find a convenient corner around which to ambush them. Between them, they take me to clvl 46, with skill points going 1 to Bearform-combat, 1 to Temporal, 2 to Spell-power and 1 to Prayer. That's everything but Prayer maxed now. Essence of Speed tops off at spell effect level 56, bringing my top speed up to +27 (it will go back down to +26 when I hit clvl 50, though). Manathrust tops out at spell effect level 21, doing 24d9 damage (average 120). Noxious Cloud finally hits spell effect level 30 and switches to unbreath damage (at 98 points per turn; not too shabby). And I'm only one skill level in Prayer away from getting Manwe's Call. Oh, and let's not forget, with Bearform-combat topped off, I'm up to 17 attacks per turn.

Hmm, my pack is getting full; with the rest of the 'superb' level complete, I think we should return to:

Loth^H^H^H^HWilderness

Ah yes, small downside to the Recall trick. No problem; just a quick cross-country jaunt to:

Lothlorien

where I stow some stockpile stuff. Oh, I forgot to *ID* a junkart:

Enh. I need to head to:

Minas Anor

to stow Gothmog and Bard; from there to:

Bree

to sell off loot. On the way there, I acquire a fate to find something special on dlvl 1.

"Now, that's what I call timing, dude."

And a better fate than most; it nets:

I was hoping for a randart armor or a randart ring, actually, but at least this will sell for a bit. And as long as we're out and about, we might as well do a molotov run. MoM 50 is uneventful this time through, but in:

Khazad-dum

the Mining Supply Store only has one Potion of Detonations. Ah well. On my way back through MoM 50, my Vision scan discovers something odd: a Glabrezu raw meat.

"Uh, dude, how do you get meat out of a demon?"

I think, Bjorn, that that's a question we really don't want know the answer to.

"Yeah. Bet it tastes like chicken, though. Wanna go find out?"

I'm thinking, no. Home again to:

Lothlorien

to prepare for our return to LoM 61.

INTERMISSION: A-Questing We Will Go...

Off we go again–

"Wait, didn't you say you need to charge up the wall-blaster thing?"

Ah, right, after that destroyed level, it needs it. A quick detour to the Wizards' Spire, then, and now we're off to:

MoM 50

??? Oh, yeah, I forgot to reset that… :o I clean up a few nearby monsters and am about to leave when Sense Monsters detects none other than Ren the Unclean.

"Whoa, déjà vu."

Yeah, the other Bjorn killed Ren once. And I think we'll do it the same way; there's a wall segment in a nearby room that I can make a pillar out of. Just gotta clear out that Nalfeshnee first, though…

After a bit of setup, Ren falls fairly quickly; unfortunately, he does get a hit in on me, giving me the Black Breath. Well, I was headed back anyway…

"Whoa, déjà vu again."

Don't you mean–

"It's like I've had this feeling of vujà dé before, dude…"

Um… yeah. Anyway, back to:

Lothlorien

Hmm, I only have four Sprigs of Athelas left in my stockpile after eating this one; I hope this doesn't happen too often… Anyway, a side trip to:

Bree

to mathom:

I've only got room for one Nazgul ring each; I suppose I'll just ditch duplicate rings. Say, as long as we're in Bree, I know how we can get some more Athelas.

"How? There wasn't any in that pawn shop place."

There's a quest we can take in Bree whose reward is a stash of Athelas. First, though, we have to do the:

Wight Grave

Huh? Oh yeah, that's right, my Magic skill is higher than my Combat skill, isn't it? :o I keep forgetting Bjorn isn't actually a warrior-type. [checks notes] Hmm, the Wight King has some nasty spells, but I think we can take him, especially with our speed advantage. A quick power-up and in we go…

"Dude, this is it? Just a small cave and a couple wimpy monsters?"

No, there are more caves, connected by void gates; we've got to find our way to the one with the Wight King in it… or, now that I think of it, we could just cast Sense Monsters and Recall-swap with a conveniently placed monster next to the Wight King… >:> I choose an Emperor wight that's positioned near a cubby-hole that I can duck into as soon as I land.

And the battle is downright anti-climactic. I land next to the Wight King and two more Emperor wights, who can't even touch me with Wind Shield up. The Wight King goes down in one turn, without ever getting a hit on me; the Emperor wights take another turn each, and the rest of the wights in the cave fall to a couple Globes of Light. Of course, with the quest completed, the only void gate out of this cave has been replaced with the exit stairs, which means I can't get to any of the other caves except via Recall-swap… nah, let 'em rot. I return to:

Bree

with my prize:

The mana boost would be nice, but the paucity of resists and the vulnerability to fire speak against it. I'll stow it, after I do the:

Dark Horseman quest

Heads up, Bjorn, there's Uvatha, on the north side of the Temple building. We'll be in his line of sight as soon as I step off the Mayor's office door; we'll need to make a run for cover… wait a minute… [checks notes] Uvatha doesn't have any spells or breath attacks. What am I worried about? Charge him, Bjorn.

"Right. Halt, you spooky evil ghost thing!"

I clearly left these quests too long. Uvatha is a total wuss; he's stunned solid after one turn of attacks and dead (temporarily) after two. He drops nothing of note, besides:

Hrm, that's right, I bought the last Scroll of *Remove Curse* from the Bree temple to get rid of Ren's ring. Quick side trip, then, to:

Gondolin

which has just what I need. Back to:

Bree

to stow Uvatha's ring and pick up my Athelas. And as long as I'm picking off quests, I've got a Wand of Digging burning a hole in my pack; where's Melinda Proudfoot? ;)

Maz 25

[casts Sense Monsters] Nope, no Merton here. [casts Reveal Ways] Hmm, that's annoying; the detected doors and stairs vanish almost immediately. Maze special effect, presumably. ‘Sokay, I remember I saw some down stairs right over here, just past this wall.. *zap*

Maz 26

[casts Sense Monsters] Nope, no Merton here either. This will get monotonous fairly quick, so I'll just–

"Hey, like, how are we gonna get this Merton kid home, anyway? I don't think I can carry him back."

We just give him this ?oWoR that I… forgot to buy in Bree. :o ‘Scuse me for a moment:

Bree

[buys ?oWoR]

Maz 26, take 2

Okay, let's try this again. Still no Merton here, so we fast forward to:

Maz 27

"You feel that you will meet your fate here."

[sound F/X: record scratching to a halt] "Dude, did we have a fate here?"

Let's see… [checks character dump] Ah yes, to find a Scroll of Door/Stair Location on dlvl 27.

"Oh, yeah. Totally lame, as always."

Indeed. Sense Monsters detects… eleven Mertons? No, those are Dark elven warlocks. I think I'll pick them off just for the loot. [sound F/X: Dark elven warlocks dying painfully] Well, that was a waste of time. Let's try this fast-forward thing again, then:

Maz 28

Two Mind flayers, no Mertons. |)

Maz 31

‘Nother Mind flayer… X-(

Maz 32

Ah, there's Merton, and not far from the stairs either.

"Ah! a bear! Stay back!"

"Whoa, it's okay, kid, we're the goodguys. You better not move much, that leg doesn't look so hot."

"You… you're…"

"Here, looks like you could use one of these."

"A Scroll of–? Oh, thank you, noble one!" Merton reads the ?oWoR and vanishes.

"Cute kid, but he shouldn't have been playing around in, like, dangerous mazes without a go-home scroll."

(shrug) He probably lost his. Say, as long as we're in the Maze, maybe we should take out the Minotaur at the bottom.

"What, that Bafoom guy? I thought we already killed him."

No, not Baphomet. This is a different Minotaur.

"Oh. How far's the bottom?"

Just another five levels, and we're punching through them pretty quickly.

"Let's do it, then."

That's the spirit. Fast forward to:

Maz 37

And there's the Minotaur, on the west edge of the level.

"Right. Halt, you evil walking cow guy! I've already kicked your boss's butt, and I shalt smite you even harder! Um… just gimme a minute to, like, find you in this maze and stuff…"

No need; he's awake and has found a straight path to us. I bring Manwe's Blessing and Wind Shield back up… and he falls in a single turn.

"Ha! Told ya I was gonna smite your butt, dude."

And back to:

Bree

with our prize:

Not bad, if we could wear it. Now off to give Melinda the good news.

"Man, I didn't have the heart to tell her that we already, like, had one of the go-home knobs."

‘Sokay, we did a good deed, that's its own reward.

"That's the spirit, dude."

On the other hand, I certainly won't turn down this Potion of Experience from the Bree Black Market. ;) At this level, it just trims a bit off the top, but everything helps. Let's see, I need to take a side trip to:

Minas Anor

to stow these artifacts, and then back home to:

Lothlorien

where the Black Market has another Potion of Experience, and a Potion of Intelligence, which finally maxes my INT, the last of my unmaxed stats, at 18/170. :D :D Oh, and an Indestructible Ring of Speed (+11) that I can't afford. See, that's why we need to keep collecting saleable loot, Bjorn.

"Oh. ‘Kay."

That reminds me, after our adventures in the Maze, Thrain's wand is down to 57 charges from 100; a quick trip to the Wizards' Spire fixes that. Next time out, back to the Land of Mountains. And Bjorn, I guess you're going to have to remind me again to reset the recall dungeon next time out.

"No prob', dude."

INTERMISSION: Arachnocide

As long as I'm on a roll, I think I'll do some more quests. Let's try out our Potions of Detonations in the:

Spiders quest

which turns out to be embarrassingly easy when you're faster than all the spiders, have Sense Monsters and a level-30 Noxious Cloud, do ungodly amounts of melee damage per turn, and most importantly, can fly.

"Yeah, yeah, just rub it in, Human…"

Oh, believe you me, Gathraka, I'm itching for a rematch on that front myself. Next time we'll just have to remember to save a Ring of Flying for this eventuality.

"Mm, right, 'next time'. Which will be, what, sometime in the Fifth or Sixth Age?"

Hey, you never know. Maybe I'll set you up for the next DitL.

"Oh, yeah, that's exactly what I need is a bunch of people laughing over my every mistake."

Don't worry, you can just blame all your mistakes on me.

"I already do that."

Somehow I'm not surprised… |) Anyway, we've got a reward to pick up.

"Whoa! Dude, this would've been really handy about a dungeon or so ago."

Yeah, sorry; I tend to be overcautious about the quests sometimes. Let's take this to:

Bree

to sell it off. Back in:

Lothlorien

I stow the !oDet's for now. Those worked out even better than I'd hoped: it turns out that in addition to doing 25d25 damage on impact if they hit, they also explode for a radius-2 shard ball, doing another 25d25 damage at the center whether they hit or not. I managed to take out an Elder aranea with just one of the potions. When I go back to the dungeons, I'll definitely be taking a few of these with me to soften up the tough uniques before closing to melee. In the meantime, though, there's another quest that I don't usually do, but I think I can manage it with Bjorn:

Poison Water quest

"My goodness, you are flinchy about these quests, aren't you? That quest was a cakewalk, as I recall."

Yeah, Lil, that's because you were packing an overclocked Wand of Noxious Cloud with something like twenty gazillion charges. Which is why I think Bjorn and his Noxious Cloud spell can handle it. And there's nothing wrong with being cautious about quests.

"Well, yes, considering your little Orc friend's recent performance, I suppose you do have a point."

"Vrasubatlat! That's it, lemme at the bitch!"

"Hon, you can't even touch me with that little pigsticker." *whish*

All right, break it up, you two. Lil, apologize.

"Oh, all right, I suppose that was a bit out of line. I'm sorry, Gath, I'm sure you'll do better next time."

"Hmph. Fine, whatever. (grmbl muttter stuck-up kurv…)"

"Hey, just because you can't get any with that face…"

"What was that?!"

Both of you, out, now! |) You see what I have to put up with.

"Aw, man, why ‘dja break ‘em up? That was shaping up to be a righteous catfight! I got popcorn and everything."

Come on, Bjorn, we've got a quest to do.

"Ooh, someone's grouchy…"

X-( Any-way… The quest site turns out to be in the corner of the inverted 'L'. I forgot to check the time of day when I headed off on the quest, so it takes me into the early evening to finish it; but darkness is no obstacle, and with a bit of patience and perserverance (and a possibly excessive degree of caution), the quest falls without incident.

"Dude, can we, like, not cast that spell again for a while? I can still smell it…"

Indeed. The reward armor has resist base plus resists shards, which is a strict subset of what Arvedui already has, so it's redundant. Let's see, I think the armor store with the highest cap is in:

Bree

And as long as we're in the neighborhood, we might as well do a run to:

Khazad-dum

where the Mining Supply store has 3!oDet. A quick trip home to:

Lothlorien

to stow these and I'm back off to:

Part 6 of 9

LoM 61

"Looks like any other level." Sense Monsters is detecting Uriel—and I just remembered I was supposed to bring some !oDet's… :\ Uriel is awake and approaching as I punch through a corridor full of Cave trolls in his direction. Fortunately, he ends up stuck in a blind corner, which will give me a chance to lure him out. Okay, this could be tough, Bjorn; above all else, we don't want him to breathe on us.

"Why? Has he got, like, really bad breath or something?"

Really hot breath, more like: fire and plasma, strong enough to do some pretty serious damage to us, even through our fire resistance.

"Right. Halt, you very good evildoer!"

That's the other annoying part, Uriel is good, so this will be a piety hit. Oh well, my piety's up above 90000, I'm not too worried. Okay, let's do this.

After one turn, he's down two stars and I'm down to 747/922hp after a plazma breath. On the second turn, he summons a Seraph in the corridor behind us. @#$%… leave it for now. Another four turns and Uriel bleeds to death, with me at 550/922hp and the Seraph untouched. Fortunately the Seraph is a pushover, falling in two turns and barely touching me. A quick sweep over Uriel's drop yields nothing of interest.

Hmm, Shadowfax is approaching us from the south; I teleport him away.

"Dude, why didn't you just teleport the very hot angel guy away?"

Because Uriel has ranged attacks and could peg us from offscreen. Shadowfax is harmless as long as he's not next to you.

"Oh. ‘Kay."

Let's see, a quick Sense Monsters and… whoa. There's an animal pit off to our northeast, with five Demonic Qs, four Dracolisks and four Nether hounds in it (not to mention two Jackals and two Scruffy little dogs—just for the comedic value, presumably… :\ ). I think we'll be avoiding that general area.

The level is pretty straightforward for a while, until I encounter my first Nightwing down the southeast corner of the level. The approach was down a straight corridor, which was probably a mistake, as he woke up and gave me a good psychic smack to the head. I Phase Door out to a nearby corridor and try to lure him out, but he won't come. Man, I'd like to take him out, but I don't want to try the straight approach again… enh, leave him.

Back west and north a ways, it looks like some of the contents of that animal pit have leaked out. Hmm, I've got a decent ambush position here just beside the north entrance of a room; let's see what I can take out. I hold my own for a while, taking out one of the Dracolisks, until:

It magically summons an undead adversary!

Huh? Oh, there's an Undead beholder approaching the room from a corridor out the south exit. Hmm, I think I've got the worst of the leak; I think it's safe to slip to the south edge of the room and smack it down. More hounds approaching from the north as I retake my ambush position; I drop a Noxious Cloud in their path to pick them off as they enter. And I notice that the Dracolisk dropped:

Enh, it's one of the 'official' ones, I'll take it up and stow it.

Pushing in further, I catch another of the escaped Dracolisks, then push further west to a checkerboard pit, wherein a Spectral Ancient white dragon drops:

<!> I think I'm gonna start running out of room in Minas Anor before long…

I avoid the animal-pit area and head south, encountering an Ancient multi-hued dragon who drops two Bronze Dragon Scale Mails, one of them Polished. <!> First one of those I've seen, I think.

"Dude, I can see my face in this thing. And it's way better tanned than I am."

Um… yeah. Finally, in the middle of the level, I find a lesser vault (nethack, spiral rooms) with a Dracolich and a Master mystic inside. My approach is from the northwest corner of the vault; I poke a hole in with Thrain's wand and take on the first comer, which of course is the Dracolich. He does manage to hit me for an exp drain, but apparently not for much, because killing him pushes me over the top to clvl 47, with all five skill points going to Prayer (as they will for the rest of the levels). Manwe's Call is now available at spell effect level 22, summoning level-51 Great eagles. [checks notes] Hmm, +28 speed, 158AC, average 424hp… let's see what one of these babies can do.

"Right. By the power of god dude Manwe, I summon a mighty eagle!"

The Great eagle gets angry! The Great eagle cries out in pain.

Oh, @#$%, did I leave a Noxious Cloud effect going around here? Well, crap, I guess I'll just have to kill it, then. :( :\ The vault goes okay for a while, until I make the mistake of approaching the Master mystic down a straight shot along the north wall and giving him a chance to summon Araneas behind me. But this time, my tactical options have improved; I Recall-swap with a Red dragon bat near the middle of the vault, neatly getting out of everyone's line of sight—okay, except for the Novice paladin, who I just charm. From there, I can head back out to the west edge and take on the Araneas one on one, and they fall quickly.

The Master mystic, on the other hand, seems to be pinned behind a sleeping Acidic cytoplasm, so I cross through the middle of the vault to the east side and ambush him there. The rest of the vault is pretty straightfoward, and nets nothing of interest beyond… wait for it… The Crumpled Scroll of Mass Resurrection. /!\ Not that I'd use it, but it makes a great souvenir.

"Why? What's it do?"

It would resurrect all the uniques you've killed, and you'd have to kill them again.

"Dude, I can barely keep track of which of those guys I've killed and which I haven't with all this mushroom flashback business. I don't need that kind of confusion."

That's not a mushroom flashback, Bjorn, that's the sanity hit from that Nightwing. In fact, my pack is getting full, so let's go home and fix that:

Lothlorien

Just five of my rather large stockpile of !oCLIns is enough to fix my sanity problems. And with that taken care of… let's see, first down to:

Minas Anor

to stow the artifacts. And that's my third house full; I may have to do the Gondolin house quest cold if this keeps up. From there, up to:

Bree

to sell off some loot. From there, back home to:

Lothlorien

Back to the Land of Mountains next time. And this time, the recall dungeon is right, so you don't need to remind me next time, Bjorn.

"‘Kay."

INTERMISSION: Hard Core

"Dude, don't not forget to… not reset… aw, dang, I wasn't supposed to remind you of that, was I?"

That's okay, it reminds me of something else I need you to remind me of: when we go back to the Sacred Land of Mountains, remind me to take a couple !oDet's.

"‘Kay… so I'm s'posed to remind you to remind me not to remind you…" :\ "Wait, aren't we going back to the righteous mountains now?"

No, I think we should go do the Gondolin house quest now.

"I thought we need that wand of go-directly-to-jail or whatever."

I think I've got a way to do it without the Wand of Stone Prison. Good thing I didn't sell off my old Tome of the Time; I'm going to use the Banishment spell out of it.

"But, like, didn't you say you didn't need that spell?"

Normally I wouldn't. Banishment is basically a combination of Teleport Away and a suspend spell—which actually doesn't work anyway as I read the code, since everything gets teleported away before the suspend effect can be applied, so it's effectively just a duplicate of the Teleport Away spell. In this case, though, the dragons can't be teleported out of my line of sight (assuming they can be teleported at all on a quest level), so the suspend effect should catch them all—and if I'm lucky, that will give me enough time to take out the most dangerous ones.

"Sounds cool. Let's do it, dude."

Okay, besides the Tome, I should take some !oHeal… and I think I'll take a couple !oDet's too, just in case. And now, off to:

Gondolin

where I pick up a Potion of Resistance from the Black Market before heading into the:

Dragons quest

which turns out to be utterly anticlimactic: nothing tougher than a Mature gold, and contrary to my preliminary information, there are some random mountain squares present as cover. I don't even bother casting Banishment. Man, maybe Lil is right; maybe I am getting overcautious about these quests.

"Oh, I dunno, dude. We've still got that whole invading army thing, that sounds pretty tough."

You know, Bjorn, you're right. Let me stow a couple things in our new house, and then strap yourself in, because we're about to take the:

Invasion of Gondolin quest

"Whoa, this passage is like a maze! Dude, I think I'm lost."

We're okay; turn left here. This is part of Gondolin's defenses, actually; other than us and Turgon, only Maeglin knows how to get back up these passages to Gondolin from where the invading army is.

"No way, dude; surely he woulda' filled in all his badguy commanders and stuff."

But then they wouldn't need him any more…

"And they'd prob'ly… ouch, good point. So you're saying if we, like, off this Mangled dude, then this whole big army won't even be able to get to Gondolin and they'll be, like, stuck there?"

All armored up and no place to invade… ;)

"Excellent! Total humiliation! But wait, why couldn't they just come in the front way like we do?"

Um… let me get back to you on that.

"Hey, did I see you leaving the exploding potion things back at the house?"

Yeah, I stowed the !oDet's for now.

"Why?"

You're about to find out; we just ran into the invaders.

"Man, what lamers, they put their wimpy orc guys right on the front line… uh, dude, why are they, like, wearing dynamite?"

Snaga sappers. Noxious Cloud them fast, before they detonate on us.

"Right." *FOOSH* "Ah! Dude, they're exploding anyway!"

I was afraid of that; looks like they detonate when they attack or when they die. That's why I stowed the !oDet's; one of those explosions might have touched them off.

"Good call, dude. Now what?"

Cast Sense Monsters, we need to find Maeglin.

"‘Kay, let's see… got him, way over there in the far corner."

And a Master mindcrafter right next to him. Perfect, Recall-swap with him.

"Right… dude, I can't target him!"

Hrm, we can't move off the current screen with the Recall targeting, and Maeglin's a screen up. Okay, we'll have to do this in stages; target the Ancient red dragon in the middle of the level.

"Got it." *bamf* "Dang, now I lost the Master mental case."

It's okay, cast Sense Monsters again… there he is. Okay, Bjorn, take us in.

"Right." *bamf* "Halt, you evil traitor! Hizonner the mighty King dude Turgon has sent me to, like, smite you righteously upside the head really hard!"

Um, actually, Maeglin smites us as we swap in, taking us from 840/940hp down to 756. And he's almost as fast as us. And a Lesser balrog just punched through the wall to join the party. Hoo boy.

"Hey, ‘least this quest won't be anti-climatical."

Heh. One turn later, Maeglin's down two stars and I'm at 681/940hp. Second turn, he's down four stars and I'm at 635/940hp, and the Lesser balrog moves in next to me. Time to toss back a !oHeal—and luckily, that's the turn Maeglin missed. Unluckily, I just noticed I quaffed one of my !oCCW's instead of the !oHeal's, and in the turn it takes me to correct the error, Maeglin and the balrog knock me back down to 850/940hp.

"Don't sweat it, dude, we can take this guy!"

Oh, I'm not giving up yet. Another turn, he's down to three stars and I'm down to 799/940hp. And again, he's at two stars, I'm at 746/940hp—and the @#$%ing Lesser balrog summons a pack of Vrocks behind me.

"We've got him on the ropes now! One more turn should do it!"

And it does! Maeglin is down. Now, can I afford to stick around and see what he dropped? We'll need to get rid of this Lesser balrog and his Vrocks first. I wonder if Teleport Away works here… yes! A quick sweep to pick up the loot, and it's time to slip out of here. Okay, Bjorn, Recall-swap with that Ancient black dragon at seven-o'clock.

"Which one?"

The one furthest away from us.

"Oh, right." *bamf*

Okay, now hit the Elite uruk Shaman near the stairs… *bamf* Oops, this corner of the level isn't as empty as I thought; I should've taken the time to cast Sense Monsters again. Wait, there the Ancient red we swapped with the first time, and it's right next to the stairs.

"Way ahead of you, dude." *bamf*

And a mad dash back to:

Gondolin

"*whew* Hey, hey! Rock on, dude! We did it!"

And you were never down more than 305hp out of 940.

"All right! In your face, black-and-white lady!"

"Aw, I never doubted you for a minute, kid. I was up here rooting for you the whole time. We all were, weren't we?"

"Yes, good show, chap. (zizz) I shall have to remember that strategy for the eventuality that I must stand against the traitorous scoundrel."

"Nicely played, mate. Quite the commando you are, aren't ye? I can see I'll ‘ave to get me some bigger babies ‘fore I try and tangle wit' that lot."

Yeah, I dunno how I'm ever gonna get any of my pure-melee characters through that quest.

"Ooh, very subtle, Human. I had no idea you were talking about me. Honest."

Oh? How do you know I wasn't referring to Graagh?

"Story-man has point. Graagh not have jump-magic like bear-man use; must fight through all monsters to reach bad Elf. Will be great challenge."

See? Even Graagh agrees with me.

"Ooh, you've got an Ogre agreeing with you. Not exactly an unimpeachable source."

"Black-sword Orc lady insult Graagh? Orc lady take back, or Graagh smash!"

"Oh, bring it, boulder-brain."

Hey! Don't make me come down there and separate you two. |) Come on, Bjorn, let's go home.

"Wait, what about all this stuff Mangled dropped?"

Oh yeah, let's see what we got from him… hmm, some decent saleable armor and weapons, and:

/!\ Whoa… :D I'm gonna have to do some equipment juggling next time out. I pick up what I stowed in the house here and swing by:

Bree

to sell stuff on the way home to:

Lothlorien

And after all that excitement, next time we'll be returning to the comparatively boring Land of Mountains.

Part 7 of 9

"Dude, don't forget to… what was I supposed to remind you of?"

To bring some !oDet's with us, most likely. Which reminds me, it's been a while since we've been to:

Khazad-dum

The Mining Supply store has only 1 !oDet, and a mildly interesting randart Brass Lantern that I decline to purchase. Back, then, to:

Lothlorien

to pick up a few more, and then back to:

LoM 61

"Looks like any other level." Any other 3x3 small level, at least. Nothing of note happens, except this dropped by an Ancient multi-hued dragon:

Has some potential… Fast forward, then, to:

LoM 62

"You have a good feeling…" A few close calls early on, like a Nycadaemon and a budding Greater wall monster infestation in the same room. My !oDet's see another successful trial when I use one to get rid of a Chaos vortex I don't want to deal with. Kinda boring from there–

The Green Thunderlord breathes fire. Your Spellbook of Charm (f) was destroyed!

"Aw, man, now we gotta go back and get another one, don't we?"

Nah, I haven't been using it that much recently anyway—and besides, anything that doesn't resist confusion is probably low enough level that I can just absorb the piety hit for now.

"Good call, dude. Now, halt, you evil spellbook-burning giant bird rider dude!"

Nothing interesting from there, so we continue to:

LoM 63

"You have a very good feeling…" First sign of trouble is running into a Lesser balrog, who promptly summons another Lesser balrog, who summons… another Lesser balrog. <!> X-( I just barely make it around a corner into ambush position when Essence of Speed gives out. /!\ The last of the three eats a !oDet as it's approaching, taking it down two stars. Hmm, I'm not sure how useful these are going to be against the real heavy-hitters…

And speaking of heavy-hitters, Sense Monsters is detecting a Beholder hive-mother nearby. [checks notes] Hmm, I haven't fought one of these before with Bjorn; 4000hp, speed +10, some really annoying attacks and nasty spells, not least the summon-kin spell for which they're infamous.

*shudder* "Brrr… I hate those things."

"What? They don't look so tough. The go-crazy attack looks like the worst part."

"Not for an Alchemist, hon. Remember, most of my heavy artillery is in wands and staffs, which means I can't let those things anywhere near me. And by the time I can kill one with ranged attacks, she's usually summoned more. I remember at one point, when I was fighting Omarax on the Crypt level, I had to just drop all my wands and staffs in an alcove and hope nothing destroyed them while I was fighting."

"Yeah, we had to do that for a while with this wall-blaster thing, until dude found out that it was immune to that."

"And don't think I don't envy you that."

Indeed. Now, if you'll excuse us, Lil, I want to go see just how much trouble these things are gonna be for Bjorn.

"Oh, sure. Good luck, kid."

"‘Kay, thanks, black-and-white lady. Dude, I still say those things don't look that tough."

Well, we're about to find out. I approach the Beholder hive-mother and get into position, clearing out a pack of Vrocks on the way. I toss another !oDet at her as she comes around the ambush corner, taking her down two stars. Hmm, maybe these will be more useful than I thought…

The hive-mother goes down in three turns, but she spends one of those three summoning two more. X-( I Phase Door into another nearby room to set up my ambush corner again. This time I drop a Noxious Cloud on the first one as she comes into line of sight; not as much damage, but at least it might start softening up the second one behind her… This one also falls in three turns, but summons another behind me.

"Dude, this is getting annoying…"

I'll say. I Phase Door out again into another room and smack down a pack of Black puddings while the hive-mothers are creeping down the corridor toward me. Here we go again… I hit the leader with another !oDet as she comes around the corner; this time, it only does one star of damage. Not good. At least this time the accursed thing's summons doesn't include any more hive-mothers. Thank Manwe for small favors.

[sound F/X: crickets chirping] "What, was I actually s'posed to do it that time?"

No, just making sure you didn't. The first one falls just in time for the second one to come into view. My last !oDet for this run does two stars of damage to her. And just as I'm about to kill her… she summons two more. X-( X-( Okay, that's it, all of you just go away! [sound F/X: Teleport Away spell] Oh, terrific, one of the hive-mothers resists, and summons yet another hive-mother. That's it, I'm teleporting out of here.

"Whoa. I see now why black-and-white lady doesn't like those things."

Yeah, I think I'll have to put that one back at the top of my List of Monsters to Avoid At All Costs™. Hmm… actually, I wonder if the Banishment spell might help here.

"But that would just teleport them away, right? We can already do that with the go-away spell."

Ah, but Beholder hive-mothers resist teleportation, as we've just seen; since they're level 67, there's a two-thirds chance they won't be teleported away and will get hit by the suspend effect. Now, they might resist that part too, but that's less likely… [checks notes] less than fifty percent chance, if I'm reading this right. If my Tome of the Time were fireproof, I'd start carrying it with me to try that strategy.

For the nonce, though, I spend the rest of the level dodging the Beholder hive-mothers, and then move on to:

LoM 64

"You have a superb feeling about this level." Bleh. My sanity is down to 529/569 after all that mess; I think I can leave it there for now.

"Yeah, dude, this is way better than the mushrooms!"

|) And here comes another candidate for the LoMtAAAC™: an Archlich. [checks notes] Another one Bjorn hasn't fought; 4500hp, +10 speed, some annoying attacks, and a whole raft of bad spells.

"Aw, man, is this guy gonna pull the same summoning trick as the eye mother thing?"

Well, it does have a summon greater undead spell, but there are more types of undead monsters, so it's less likely to specifically summon another Archlich. Of course, there's always the chance it could summon a Nazgul… Well, let's get in there and see how bad it's gonna be.

"Right. Halt, you evil arch licker!"

;) The Archlich falls in five turns. It does manage a summons, but fortunately we're in a blind alley, and it only gets a Monastic lich and a Grave wight. Its drop includes no fewer than four Tomes—none of the Time, unfortunately.

Most of the rest of the level is fairly straightforward. There are two notable highlights: first, near the northern edge of the level is another of those unidentifiable vault-esque room-like things, this one looking like a small network of caverns: 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 
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..^^^^^^^^^!*..........^^^].p.^..^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^.............^^^^ 
..^^^^^^^^^d....T!.-...^^^.......^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^.............^^^^ 
^.^^^^^^^^^TTTTTTTT,...^^=.Xwd^^.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^.............^^^^ 
^.^^^^^^^^^^TTTTTTT..^^^^D.D..^^.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^.../.........^^^^ 
^^^^^m..^^^^TTTgT^^^^^^^^md.*.^^.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^.....{.......^^^^ 
^^^^..!.^^^^^TTT^^^^^^^^^^c=?.^..^....:...^^^^^^^^^^^^^'^^^^^^^^^^ 
^^^WSRwp?^^^^^T^^^^CC..^^^^mVd'..^.^^^^^^.^^^^^^^^^^./..^^^^^^^^^^ 
^^^pv.pA.^^^^^^^^CCzC..?^^^^^^^.....^^^^^.^^^^^^^^^^.^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 
^^^od.d|..^^^^^^^\GCC}.R^^^^^^^..^.^^^^^^.^^^^^^=|=^[^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 
^^^^vooo..^^^^^^JdeCC.^^^^,CZ^^..^.^^^^^^.^^^^^^(~/^.^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 
^^^^^oo.d.!^^^^^^CCC.C^^^.jTZT...^.^^^^^^.^^^^^^(/"^.^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 
^^^^^^,doo.^^^^^^^Czz.^^^GdDTT^^...^^^...,.....=^^^..........^^^^^ 
^^^^^^oo!o...*..^^^^,^^^ozo.TT^^^^^^^^..........'?^..........^^^^^ 
^^^^^^^o......#..^^^^^^^oooo(T^^^^^^^^..........^^^..........^^^^^ 
^^^^^^^^^^....(.^^^^^^^^^oo...'....oT^^^^^^^^^^^^.{^.^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^.^'^^^^^^^^^.^^.^^^^^^^T^^^^^^^^^^^..$^..^^^^^^^^^^^^ 
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Two of the p's in the westernmost cavern are Saruman and Harowen, and the R near the middle is the Tarrasque. /!\ Needless to say, I didn't take on this one. ;)

The other interesting bit is on the west edge of the level: a lesser vault (maze of rooms), whose toughest occupants appear to be some Chaos hounds… oh, and a couple Great Wyrms. Hmm, think you can take them, Bjorn?

"Yeah, lemme at ‘em!"

What worries me is, that might be the sanity hit talking… Well, at least in case of extreme emergency, Great Wyrms don't appear to resist teleportation—except for Great Wyrms of Power, which, mercifully, we aren't likely to be encountering any time soon.

I punch into the vault on the south side, pushing east through some orcs and Cave ogres, angling for the Great Bile Wyrm near the middle. A few of the Chaos hounds leak out as I approach, so I have to dive for a corner to ambush them. Oh, crap, there's a Lesser black reaver on the western side of the vault, and he's awake and punching through the walls. This could make things messy.

By this time the Great Ice Wyrm has woken up and is next to the Great Bile Wyrm—and that Lesser black reaver is getting too close for comfort. Hmm, from here I can punch south through the wall to the outer corridor ring of the vault and maybe lure the reaver west. By the time I get the @#$%ing wand to work, though, he's right next to the Great wyrms, and I have to do some fancy footwork to get him lured into the outer ring with me and still leave the Great Wyrms on the inside.

The reaver falls in three turns, and the Ancient black dragon that came out behind him falls in two. And there's an Ancient multi-hued not far behind him. Man, and I thought this was gonna be an easy vault… The AMHD goes down in another two turns; some Rotting corpses and Chaos hounds are the next out of the gate, followed by an Emperor Wight and an Ancient white. And that seems to be the worst of the monsters in the immediate vicinity; time to lure out one of the Great Wyrms.

"Here he comes. Halt, you very cold evil lizard thing!"

:\ The Ice Wyrm is indeed the first around the corner. I crank Tactic up to berzerker and lay into it, taking it down three stars on the first turn. It falls in another two turns, wasting one of them attempting to cast a confusion spell at me.

"See? Told'ja we could take ‘em."

Yeah, well, we've got the Bile Wyrm to lure out next, and he's tougher. A Forest wight and a Mature white come out ahead of it, but it's not far behind. This time I only take it down two stars on the first turn, which bodeth not well. It takes five turns to fall, and gets in a few hits, but luckily doesn't breathe.

"Man, you had me worried there, dude. They weren't so tough."

Mmh. The rest of the vault is fairly easy; apart from the last few Chaos hounds, the worst monster left is a Skull druj, conveniently positioned so that I can poke through the wall and get the drop on him—although he does get a water ball spell in on me. Maybe I should've just hung back and whittled him down with Manathrusts…

Some of the Wyrms' loot did get destroyed by breaths from Chaos hounds (and that one Chaos vortex), and there's not much left that's particularly interesting… well, unless you count this Ring of Speed [+9]. :D :D I have gotta do some equipment juggling here…

And on that high note, we return to:

Loth^H^H^H^HWilderness

Oh yeah, I keep forgetting about that. Anyway, the returning continues until we get back to:

Lothlorien

where I break out my !oCLIns stash and get Bjorn straightened out.

"Thanks, dude, that was gettin' kinda weird there. Whoa, wait, did I actually fight those great big huge dragon things head on? Man, I must've been crazy."

Heh. We take a quick side trip to:

Bree

to sell off loot; the Library there also has a Spellbook of Charm to replace the one I lost to that Thunderlord. Back in:

Lothlorien

we pick up a few more !oDet's and prepare to return to the dungeon next time out. Oh, and I think an updated dump ls long overdue.

Part 8 of 9

"Uh… was I s'posed to remind of you of something?"

I don't think so. I do notice that our !oDet stockpile is getting low, though, so we'll start with a run to:

Khazad-dum

where the Mining Supply store has 3!oDet's; that brings me up to 8 in pack and 8 at home. I only want to carry a few at once, so I return to:

Lothlorien

to stow the three I just bought, and then return to:

LoM 64

"Looks like any other level." Nothing of interest in Sense Monster range, except for a Death drake I'll have to keep an eye out for.

A bit further in, though, I detect Bjorn's first Bone golem, in what looks to be a four-subroom pit. [checks notes] Hmm, 3500hp, +10 speed, attacks for disenchant and drain STR, and some nasty spells, notably a summon greater undead spell. And just to make things annoying, it's in a room with an Ancient bronze dragon and a Lesser balrog. We'll have to approach this carefully.

"You worry too much, dude. Lemme at ‘em!"

Uh-huh. As I arrive in the room, I can see a couple holes poked through some of the inner walls, allowing the monsters in the Bone golem's subroom to leak out through another of the subrooms. An Ancient gold from the other room comes out first, followed by the Bone golem, who gets a !oDet in the skeletal face as it comes around the corner—and oddly enough, starts bleeding as a result of the shards explosion.

"Eww! Dude, that's just not right…"

Hey, don't knock it, it means the accursed thing will die faster.

"Right. Halt, you bleeding bony evildoer!"

Actually, the fight goes rather well; the Bone golem falls in three turns, after I remember to restart Manwe's Blessing; it gets in a cause-cuts spell, but luckily doesn't summon. The rest of the room falls without incident.

For that matter, so does the rest of the level. Shadowfax is here; I teleport him away a couple times. The most notable event is finding another Tome of the Time, which might give me a chance to try out my Banishment strategy. It's not fireproof, but it's just a spare, so losing it wouldn't be disastrous. Anyway, let's try for more excitement on:

LoM 65

"You have a superb feeling about this level." Actually, there's a Hand druj rather close by that I don't feel the least bit superb about… I'm 38exp from the next level as I enter the level; the first monster I run into, however, is an Elder vampire, who manages to knock that back about 20,000 or so. X-( That's what I'm carrying the restoration junkart around for, though… ;) Restoring takes me up to clvl 48, with all five skill points going to Prayer. Which reminds me, I haven't tried Manwe's Call again since the first time, when it ran into a stray Noxious Cloud; let's see how it does against these Phantom warriors.

"‘Kay. By the power of god du